These past couple of months has been crazy and hard but very worth it. I thought that I had a grasp on what letting things go and letting God taking them meant but I had no idea. God has reshaped and is still reshaping what letting go of things in my life (basically letting go of control of things) and letting God take care of those things. Every time I think I’m getting a grasp of it, God shows and tells me that I don’t have it down and to let him show me how to do it by his grace and his power. I thought that by choosing to go on this Race, that I was giving up control and letting things go but the Lord quickly showed me that there were certain things in my life that I had not given up yet or given up the way he wanted me to.
So before I moved up to Utah about a year ago, the Lord asked me this question, Would you give up everything for me? I had to ponder that question for while. I was about to respond then he put four things in my mind; Family, Friends, Finances, and Future Spouse. The Lord wanted me to give those up to him and give him control over them especially since he showed me that they were his in the first place. This past year, he has brought that question up multiple times and each time I had to surrender each of these things. But each time it was brought up, it was harder because he wanted to know if I trusted him with more faith when it became even more risky. I realized that those four things were the things that were the most important in my life and I had a death grip on. Each time I said yes but then he wanted me to prove it by action and thoughts. Each time it was different than what I thought and wanted. Thank goodness it was different than what I thought and wanted.
I realized that God wanted and wants my heart and the heart of those around me. That that is the goal of everything he does. He wants me fully and to have an intimate relationship with me. God gives good gifts to his children and he wants to give me the desires of my heart but I have to let go first for him to be able to give it to me and bless me with it because otherwise it wouldn’t bring him glory. Those four things are what God wants to bless me with the most but I only need to give up control in my thoughts(expectations) and actions then he can give them to me in his timing. His timing is perfect and right on time, not any later or earlier than what I really need. God knows me better than I know myself. He knows me and what I need at the exact moment. He is asking me to trust him and give up control and when I do, it sets me free and I feel at peace with everything in my life.
The past couple of weeks the Lord has taken me to the story of Abraham and Isaac. We all have heard and read this story multiple times (well at least I have) but this time, it was different. God showed me this story in a different light that I have never seen before or maybe I was blinded to before.
Genesis 22:1-5 Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”“Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about.On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.“Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the servants. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”
God’s plan all along was to test Abraham. We all know that Isaac was the son that God was going to carry out his promise to Abraham which was to make his decedents as numerous as the stars. From the very beginning Abraham had faith somehow that his son would live. In verse 5 Abraham says, “The boy and I will travel a little farther and we will worship there, and then WE will come right back.” Abraham had faith that both him and Isaac will come back. He was being obedient and was going to do what the Lord said to do even if it didn’t make sense. He was letting go of his son but at the same time he held on to the promise God gave him about blessing his descendants through Isaac.
Genesis 22:5-18 So Abraham placed the wood for the burnt offering on Isaac’s shoulders, while he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them walked on together, Isaac turned to Abraham and said, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “We have the fire and the wood,” the boy said, “but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?” “God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son,” Abraham answered. And they both walked on together. When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. At that moment the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!” “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.” Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the Lord will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.” Then the angel of the Lord called again to Abraham from heaven.“This is what the Lord says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies.And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.”
When Abraham told his son Isaac that God would provide a sheep. I think that Abraham didn’t know how it was gonna happen but he knew that God was going to provide. I believe that Abraham thought he was going to kill his son and that God had the power to raise him from the dead and somehow his son would live because it says he strapped him to the wood and that Abraham picked up the knife and was going to kill him. But the Lord at the last second told him to not lay a hand on his son. It seemed that Abraham was surprised that he heard God at the moment he did. I believe that Abraham had an idea of how it was going to happen(God was going to raise Isaac from the dead) that he was so focused on what he saw and what he was doing that when God spoke, Abraham was surprised and said yes, here I am. Abraham was obeying God but still had an idea how to do it and what was going to happen even though he knew the outcome, God intervened and showed Abraham that it was going to happen a different way because of his faith of trusting God. After Abraham sacrificed the ram, The Lord then said because of your faith, you will be blessed. So it was because of his faith that God actually blessed him with decedents. Do you think that if Abraham didn’t trust God and tried to hide Isaac and not go and sacrifice his son, if God would bless him? I believe that God would still have blessed him but not to the extent of what he did because of his faith. God was wandering if he was willing to give up everything.
I believe that is exactly what God is doing in my life. He is asking me to do certain things that proves that I will give them up and it is in different ways than I think it is. Its scary and hard but so good and worth it. God will show up and give me what I need at the exact moment I need it. I have come to the conclusion that God knows what he is doing and talking about and to trust him even if it sounds crazy.
Are you willing to trust God with your fears and things that you have a death grip on? Are you willing to give up everything for God for him to set you free from those things? Are you willing to cling on to God? To let go and let God…?
