An Uncontainable God:
And A Heart Learning to Worship Like Mary
Walking Through the Hills of Albania (Photo by Esther Houser)
Below is a raw prayer from my journal during my time in Kathmandu, Nepal. God took the pen and wrote on my heart.
July 2, 2016
“Lord, a desire I have is to get married. If You could provide a husband for me who I could talk to about all of these things, that would be great. I’d love it; but if not, I’m still going to follow You and love You with ALL I can. I just want to sit in Your presence forever. You are so beautiful and wonderful. You are a Majestic King who is good and merciful and willing to sacrifice for ALL of Your people who don’t deserve it. Your gospel is so beautiful! I want to talk about Your goodness forever! I want to obey You and do Your will in Nepal.
I trust You with everything: my life, my love, my dreams, my desires, my heart. It’s all Yours to do with them what You will. Lord, I know I may not get married and that’s ok. I want to run after You and run to the finish line anyway.
You are beautiful. Your creation is amazing. I think about the beauty in NC, the green trees and rolling hills. I think of the palm trees and sand bars in Florida, the saguaro cactus mountains of Arizona, and the mountainous rocky coast of California.
Saguaro Cacti in Arizona 2015
I think of the vast green hills decorated with sheep and castles in England and France, the poppies that blanket the sunset landscape and warm tones of Italy, the snow covered evergreen mount Pilatus in Switzerland and the clean cool air breathed there.
French Countryside 2008
Italian Countryside 2008
I think of the mountains and plateaus, jungles and roaming wild animals of India,
Outside of Mumbai, India 2012
The beautiful islands of South Korea – looking like a puzzle ready to complete from the sky.
I think of the desert and sand dunes in Peru,
The magical beauty of towering mountains, volcanoes and waterfalls in Baños, Ecuador,
The mind-blowing endless green mountains and jungles in Colombia,
The crystal clear waters, painted rocks and picture-perfect landscape of Lesvos, Greece, covered in sheep herds grazing on the hills,
The unreal fjord in Kotor, Montenegro – with shimmering sea glass all over the coast, the way the mountains roll down straight into the sea, almost as if to wash off in the sea, before climbing up on the other side.
I think of the way the sunset kisses the hills each evening in Albania,
The green trees, never ending rice patties, and enveloping jungles filled with monkeys in Nepal.
Lesvos, Greece – April, 2016
Kotor, Montenegro – May, 2016
Outside of Tirana, Albania – June, 2016
Rice Patties in Nepal – July, 2016
I’ve only seen a small portion of Your earth, but every inch I have seen, brings me to my knees in awe of Your glory and Your majesty.
I am satisfied in You Lord, in Your marvelous works. The physical creation around us isn’t the half of it. There is so much more in the detail, thought, and care You put into designing the human body. The complexity of our eyes – that they see this world, our internal involuntary processes that keep us going without our effort. We can’t even see inside our own bodies. We HAVE to trust in You. You are the Grand Orchestrator of relationships, families, conversations, talents, music, crafts, economy, language, and life situations. I CAN’T put You into words, but I HAVE to try because You deserve my praise. I think of Your glory and I just have to praise You. I love You Lord.”
Prayer Journal Entry – July 1, 2016
“I sit before You, wanting to soak up Whatever You will teach me. I choose to be Mary.”
A Door in Montenegro (Photo by Danielle Curtis)
