As a young child, I heard songs about the love
Jesus has for me. But I didn’t
understand this love until this year. Having been in plenty of horrible romantic relationships and wondering
if people I have dated were just using me, I have a hard time believing that
someone could love me just as I am with no hidden agenda or without wanting me
to change something about myself. Family, of course, has to love me and I know that they do. I have the best parents and brother that a
girl could ever ask for! But as far as
that “special someone” goes…
Jesus has for me. But I didn’t
understand this love until this year. Having been in plenty of horrible romantic relationships and wondering
if people I have dated were just using me, I have a hard time believing that
someone could love me just as I am with no hidden agenda or without wanting me
to change something about myself. Family, of course, has to love me and I know that they do. I have the best parents and brother that a
girl could ever ask for! But as far as
that “special someone” goes…
I had a rough week this past week. I was sleep deprived, I had a World Race fundraising
Garage Sale that I needed to finish planning, plus my regular work and church
things. I was OVERWHELMED. Some great things happened: (1) I joined my
Young Adult Worship Band (Sonset Free!!) and sang worship on stage for the first time in almost
7 years, (2) I was pleasantly surprised at how many things were donated for me
to sell at my garage sale and (3) an article was written about me in the local
newspaper! But something bad happened
too: I felt the “old me” rising up again – my old attitude, my ungrateful
spirit, and my quick temper all showed up for a surprise visit.
Garage Sale that I needed to finish planning, plus my regular work and church
things. I was OVERWHELMED. Some great things happened: (1) I joined my
Young Adult Worship Band (Sonset Free!!) and sang worship on stage for the first time in almost
7 years, (2) I was pleasantly surprised at how many things were donated for me
to sell at my garage sale and (3) an article was written about me in the local
newspaper! But something bad happened
too: I felt the “old me” rising up again – my old attitude, my ungrateful
spirit, and my quick temper all showed up for a surprise visit.
That is when I realized that I had not been
spending any time in the Word of God. I
had not been praying. I was doing my own
thing and saying it was for God. Shame
on me when it’s not about me at all. As
I was having a minor meltdown on Friday morning when the balloons I had bought
for my garage sale signs had deflated, my brother had to remind me that (okay
this is totally paraphrased but this is what I took from our conversation)….(1)
it’s not about you at all. The garage
sale is about sharing the love of Christ with the people that show up and (2)
do you think that God isn’t going to send people if your signs aren’t perfect?
spending any time in the Word of God. I
had not been praying. I was doing my own
thing and saying it was for God. Shame
on me when it’s not about me at all. As
I was having a minor meltdown on Friday morning when the balloons I had bought
for my garage sale signs had deflated, my brother had to remind me that (okay
this is totally paraphrased but this is what I took from our conversation)….(1)
it’s not about you at all. The garage
sale is about sharing the love of Christ with the people that show up and (2)
do you think that God isn’t going to send people if your signs aren’t perfect?
I was putting God in a little box again. The article in the paper didn’t happen
because I’m so awesome that I should have an article written about me. The article happened because God allowed it
to happen. Last Sunday morning in my Life
Development class (a.k.a. Sunday School), I requested prayer for the garage
sale and a few hours later, I got a call from a reporter at the Sarasota Herald
Tribune. I raised almost $700 at the garage
sale (SEVEN times as much as my little $100 goal). Which is awesome! And thank you so much to everyone that came
out to buy things, make donations and the people that donated the items to
sell!!! But this money was not raised
because of anything that I had done, but because God sent people there that were willing to give to HIS cause. And even with my bad attitude, my quick
temper and my ungrateful spirit, Jesus still had something to say to me this
weekend: HE LOVES ME & HE MISSES ME. Me?
because I’m so awesome that I should have an article written about me. The article happened because God allowed it
to happen. Last Sunday morning in my Life
Development class (a.k.a. Sunday School), I requested prayer for the garage
sale and a few hours later, I got a call from a reporter at the Sarasota Herald
Tribune. I raised almost $700 at the garage
sale (SEVEN times as much as my little $100 goal). Which is awesome! And thank you so much to everyone that came
out to buy things, make donations and the people that donated the items to
sell!!! But this money was not raised
because of anything that I had done, but because God sent people there that were willing to give to HIS cause. And even with my bad attitude, my quick
temper and my ungrateful spirit, Jesus still had something to say to me this
weekend: HE LOVES ME & HE MISSES ME. Me?
I’m not kidding. From this past Friday through this morning, Jesus was reaching out to
me. Every song I heard, every book I
read, even the sermon yesterday at church was all about the intimate love Jesus
has for me and for you. Like Eve in the
Garden of Eden, I sometimes think God has withheld something good from me. Why, God, don’t I have a husband? I’m turning 30 next year and most of my
friends are happily married with kids. Why am I alone? For a long time I
thought God was punishing me for my mistakes. That God forgave me but that I had brought judgment down on myself and
that that one thing would be withheld from me. I may or may not have an earthly husband in the future, but I do have a
Heavenly one right now. Cheesy, I know,
but totally true. Out of the billions of
people on Earth, Jesus loves me so much He can’t stand it. It breaks His heart when I don’t spend time
with Him. And this past week, I didn’t. So this weekend, He sang to me. Here are some of His songs:
me. Every song I heard, every book I
read, even the sermon yesterday at church was all about the intimate love Jesus
has for me and for you. Like Eve in the
Garden of Eden, I sometimes think God has withheld something good from me. Why, God, don’t I have a husband? I’m turning 30 next year and most of my
friends are happily married with kids. Why am I alone? For a long time I
thought God was punishing me for my mistakes. That God forgave me but that I had brought judgment down on myself and
that that one thing would be withheld from me. I may or may not have an earthly husband in the future, but I do have a
Heavenly one right now. Cheesy, I know,
but totally true. Out of the billions of
people on Earth, Jesus loves me so much He can’t stand it. It breaks His heart when I don’t spend time
with Him. And this past week, I didn’t. So this weekend, He sang to me. Here are some of His songs:
How
He Loves by David Crowder Band
More
by Matthew West
The
More I Seek You by Gateway Worship
More I Seek You by Gateway Worship
I am lucky to have a Man in my life that doesn’t
care if I’m having a bad hair day, if I can’t find the perfect outfit to wear, if
I’m in a good mood or not. He just wants
to spend time with me. He wants to know
what is going on in my life. He wants to
know my hopes and dreams for the future. Isn’t that all us girls
want? Someone who would lay down His
life for us?
care if I’m having a bad hair day, if I can’t find the perfect outfit to wear, if
I’m in a good mood or not. He just wants
to spend time with me. He wants to know
what is going on in my life. He wants to
know my hopes and dreams for the future. Isn’t that all us girls
want? Someone who would lay down His
life for us?
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