Words will be hard to find.
But. Here we go.
Was it my favorite month? No.
Was ministry fruitful. Uhm, yes. A few of our people prayed for a blindman to be healed…and he was.
Were there great moments? Immeasurable ones.
Did God use it? Absolutely.
Leading was hard this month. Being the leader who spoke fluent Spanish was even harder. Lots of cell phone communication. Lots of misunderstandings. Lots of discrepancy between “Baptist time” and “Latin time”.
It meant a lot of being late for ministry, it meant making a lot of last minute judgment calls that were not popular, it meant being the constant “go-between” for schedules. It meant little time was left for me to build lasting relationships with people here. It meant being an enforcer to one contact and the scapegoat to the other.
It meant taking a lot of heat, which meant a lot refinement.
I was forced to finally face the truth that despite knowing (in thought) my identity in Christ, I still found just about every ounce of worth in people’s perceptions of me. Despite my strong personality and vibrancy, I am a people-pleaser through and through. Going into this month, I had little idea of what it meant to be worthy simply because I am endlessly loved.
It took praying a dangerous prayer going into this month for God to finally have the room to tackle this HUGE obstacle in my life. At the beginning of May, I asked God put me in situations where man’s approval would look entirely different than God’s approval, and to put me in situations where obedience to man would be opposite of obedience to God.
He answered.
Which meant a lot of weeding, a lot of time in the fire.
Several times this month, I would walk into our home, slip into our room, drop my purse, change into pajamas, grab my ipod, pop on worship music, climb into Bekah’s poolside hammock, and cry thick tears.
During those countless hours spent in said fetal position, God began to speak. Loudly.
He told me that I am His beloved.
That He is so PROUD of me.
That there is nothing I can do to be better in His eyes.
He still loves me the same.
That I have power and worth because I am His daughter.
Because He made me.
Because He called me.
Because He chose me.
He told me things I had always heard.
But this time it seeped from brain into heart.
So as I leave this month, I am leaving a lot of who I was. I am leaving behind a girl who didn’t know how great she was. I am leaving behind a girl who didn’t understand how powerful she was. I am leaving behind a girl who was worried about disapp
I am taking with me a woman who knows she is royalty. That she has power–not from her fiery passion or from her intelligence–but power from being the daughter of the King of Kings. I am walking away as a woman who is less affectable, less offendable. A woman who can face the toughness of the rest of the world and life that awaits me. The fear is disappearing as the truth overtakes.
I am worthy. Infinitely worthy.
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Ok. So. Here’s the deal.
I still need a little over $1500 by the end of June in order to be fully funded and finish out this year strong!
On average, at least 100 of you read my blogs. If each of you reading this RIGHT NOW were to click on the left tab and donate 15 bucks, I would be set! Or send it to one or two people who would love to be a part of helping bring Kingdom to earth.
Thanks for your love, your support, and your prayers. You’re helping get me through this AWESOME journey.
