One of the richest words found
consistently in Paul’s epistles is inheritance.
We have grown up in a time where that word brings to mind trust-funds and glittering
heiresses, but I am guessing that Paul’s idea of the word went a lot deeper
than the zeros on a bank statement.
In this family of four, we joke
that I got the extremes of both parents–both the good and the…not as good.
Moderation is a discipline of choice for me because all thanks to Tom and Sue,
I am naturally an extreme.
I grew up vanity princess. You have
to know me really well to have known
the insecurities that used to tease me. But gosh, y’all, I really, really love me–like as non-narcissistic as I can make this
sound, I am in love with myself, who I have been, who I am today, who I am becoming.
Genuinely, I hope and pray that the
people I spend my life with can say the same thing about themselves too. I hope
you, reading this, know the deep peace and joy that comes from self-love.
Back to me! Actually, really–I’m writing this as a shout out
to my parents. These two people are my biggest champions. I rarely talk about
them on blogs, but if you’ve spent more than a conversation in person with me,
you’ll know how much I truly adore “Tom and Sue”. The life I live now, the
confidence I have, the compassion, the drive– it’s come from a lifetime of
studying them. I’ve been with them in Minnesota for just under two weeks, and
it has just been wonderful.
So, here’s a get-to-know the people behind the names and stories.
Tom and Sue have been married for
34 years. She was not 21 when they met, so Daddy took her out for an ice-cream
float on their first date. A little over a year later, her wedding vows from
Ruth “where you go I will go, your people shall be my people” have been
prophetic over their lives, as they’ve spent the entirety of their marriage
living outside of their home state of California.
Tom. Tommy.
Tommonster. Papi.
He is an INFJ–exactly like me! Introverted. He’s quiet and
he can read people like books. Though many of my friends have told me he can be
unnerving in first impressions, a few hours and you’ll know that he has a
ridiculously dry and witty sense of humor, loves a good laugh, and is generous
beyond comprehension.
I don’t normally associate Daddy as
a risk-taker, but I could not be more wrong. The man is brilliant. Golden
brain, awesome listener, and a memory that rivals encyclopedias (albeit
occasionally of useless information). He takes risks–but only really smart ones. Either that or he’s extremely lucky because
I’ve never seen him take a risk that didn’t have an even better reward. I can’t
explain it, but I totally claim that trait as a part of my inheritance!
The joke in family circles is that
Handleys spell fun: W-I-N. And Tom is the kingpin of this. Ejemplo: He doesn’t
play yahtzee–mind you, a dice game of pure chance–because it’s too stressful.
He has been known in his past to throw the dice off of balconies. (my
competitive streak is all his blood).
He’s a protector, and a pusher. He
doesn’t slow down. He barely sleeps. His eye for art is keen and his taste is nearly impeccable. He
loves his red wine, top-ramen, and candy stash. He pushes me out of my comfort
zone every single day, but is always the first to extend loving and gracious
words when I let $h!t hit the fan in my life. He always has the right words and
the big, loving heart that keep me grounded.
Sue. Susie. Momzilla. Mommy.
There’s no mistaking our
relationship. I am her spitting image, and often called various permutations of
“Mini-Sue” or “Sue Junior”. Same button
nose, same blue eyes, same high cheek bones–looking at her gives me relief that
I will age well! Same emotional capacity to cry at the drop of a pin– my empathy
is all her giving. We share meals when we eat out, we now cook together, and
spend countless hours laughing, playing board games and finding entertainment
cleaning out her closet.
Ironically, mom and I are almost as
different as it gets in our personality-types. She’s an ESFP (I’m the INFJ like
Dad). She’s extroverted to the maximum.
She captivates people’s attention in large groups, her voice carries above all
other sound, her laugh is a deep belly one. But she’s also so personal–she
could make a wallflower feel like the Queen of England. The woman finds any and
all events to host parties–the kind that people never stop talking about. You
know how Paul talks about how he can feast with kings or abase with the
poor–that’s her. Social strata and norms are somehow non-existent in her brain.
Time is irrelevant to her, though
she loves schedules. She is a child at heart, always ready to play, and equally
ready to take any challenge of being told “it can’t be done”.
She is painfully observant and detail oriented– she can logically design a
successful renovation project before ever stepping foot in the space. She has
foresight and imagination unrivaled in this family–entertaining conspiracy
theories lurk behind almost all of her observations.
Both of them are fiercely loyal,
bluntly honest, and have a knack for each getting the last word in. In other
words, they are not the kind of people you want to mess with. But to have these
two as your parents? It’s been a recipe for success in all the places that
matter most.
In the last few years of
hyper-vulnerable life that racers live, there’s a common lie believed by many:
a genuine doubt of the Lord’s love for them. Though the lie is sparked by
different challenges in life, somehow we always get back to the topic of
parents. Now, I have had to face the lies I believe too, but the love of the
Lord has never been an issue. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was made to
be loved and adored. I single-handedly attribute it to Mama Sue and Daddy
Handley. The two of them have loved and continue to love Erika and me without
reservation, without strings. So while I joke about the extremism in both of
them blossoming and forming me, the truth is that I am who I am today because I
have known and undoubtedly believed every last ounce of their undeniable,
unconditional love.
