Love, love, love. There’s a word for it in every language. Like water, or hello, or … toilet. Leave it to me to write a blog entry about love. “Hey, is Tiffany ever going to write about what she’s actually doing on the field, or is she going to keep writing lofty posts waxing philosophical?” Heh. I apologize for welcoming you so unabashedly into this scary thing called my brain, but I promise, this has something to do with where I am. . .
Actually, I wouldn’t be here were it not for love. We wouldn’t be anywhere we were supposed to be were it not for love. Love is a many, splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong – all you need is love! Ahem. Anyway, I’ve been reading this book called “The Five Love Languages – Singles Edition” (that last part is important). I had heard that it was a good read, and if you’ve been among Christian circles long enough, especially the female ones, you’ve probably already heard of it, or read it as well in order to fit in during those sleepovers that result in the eventual gushing full length description of your dream wedding dress (sorry guys, unfortunately, this does happen, and it’s a sad, sad thing.) Although the writing of this book doesn’t exactly keep you on the edge of your seat, the heart behind it is to tangibly teach people how to love.
Have your ears perked up yet? Isn’t that what we all want? At the root of all our deepest and darkest insecurities, isn’t there a lovesickness that just does not seem to go away? Aren’t there so many people who have wronged us and loved us poorly because they were wrongly loved? The world has become a massive chain of people who have forgotten how to love and the abuse continues down the line.
We’re all familiar with society’s obsession with love. It’s in our songs, our movies, our books, and our conversations. It’s everywhere, but it’s conditional, and it’s elusive, and it doesn’t make any sense because it seems to always end in physical lust or a broken heart, or selfish gain. To quote a well loved Scripture:
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 4-7
Ah yes. So how many Christian weddings have you heard this verse read at? With good reason! It’s a popular passage of scripture. I’ve read this Bible dealio a couple of times through, and I’m pretty sure this is the only real comprehensive definition of the characteristics of love. Why? I mean, really, God? That’s all the help you’re going to give us? Leaves a lot for interpretation, doesn’t it? Notice Paul doesn’t write,
“Love is feeling really warm and fuzzy and getting butterflies when you’re around the person you’re attracted to. Love is thinking about someone 24/7 and waiting by the camel post for a telegram (I don’t know, did they have telegrams back in Biblical times?)”
If you read the passage in context, you’ll know that Paul wasn’t writing about the romantic, selfish kind of love that we’re so used to. Also known as, “Valentine’s Day love.” He was writing to the body of Christ about how to love one another better with no ulterior motive, except simply to love.
Now if you’re like me, and God help you if you are, your conception of what “love” is and how it operates might be a little skewed. It was only after reading what this Chapman dude had to say that I started to understand exactly what my false conception was.
“Love is a ‘learned response, a learned emotion’. . . Most of us continue to behave as though love is not learned but lies dormant in each human being and simply awaits some mystical age of awareness to emerge in full bloom. Many wait for this age forever. We seem to refuse to face the obvious fact that most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in it, and dying without ever truly discovering it.”
That’s depressing. Dying without ever having loved and been loved? Ouch. I don’t think anyone would wish that upon themselves. But here’s where it all makes sense: love doesn’t just happen in a magical, exhilarating, obsessive, and first-sight kind of way, LOVE IS A CHOICE. Dad grants us free will and choice so that we may be able to experience the fullness of what love is – choice. Just like joy in difficult circumstance is a choice, and forgiveness is a choice. Loving intentionally is choosing to love fully instead of half-heartedly, or bailing as soon as the opportunity arises.
Just like hatred stimulates hatred, abuse stimulates abuse, and hurt stimulates more hurt, love stimulates love, and love serves others. Love covers an individual with worth and potential. Love allows you to view people the way that their Creator views them.
I feel as though I’ll have much more to say on this topic as I dive deeper into it, but I just wanted to share with you what I’ve been learning. If you feel as though you’re walking through a life that lacks close, loving, and healthy relationships, challenge yourself to love deeper. I absolutely believe that there is power in the conviction to love. Here’s a quick run-down of the five basic love “languages”:
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Which language do you speak? Do you notice important people in your life that speak the same language, or any of the others? As you begin to reformulate your own conception of love, you will begin to experience love in all its intended fullness.
Perhaps more on this later 😉
Let me know if you want me to delve deeper with you, I’d be happy to.
