My birthday is coming up in fourteen days. I’m going to be turning twenty-three. According to many on my squad, that’s incredibly young. I’ve lived twenty-three years on this Earth. Most of those years wasted in forgotten and ill-driven memory. Yes, most of those years I wasted searching for purpose, seeking to find why each year that passed by, I still felt as empty as the next. Some years I threw away in singular moments of regret or irretractable words spoken.
I don’t want to do that anymore.
I want to know the measure of my days. I want to wake up each day assured and confident that He has fashioned every minute and meticulously appointed every interaction. I want to spend my days allowing God to love through me, so that, despite how low my metabolic rate becomes, despite the surfacing crow’s feet, despite however many strands of white hair, despite my failing memory – despite all the weaknesses and temporality of the flesh, that I live for eternity. I live for an eternal God that is not deterred or inconvenienced by the passage of time.
This year I will be spending my birthday in South Africa. I didn’t think that I could ever say that sentence with all honesty. . . My mommy asked in a recent e-mail what I wanted for my birthday, and I never know what to say when I’m asked that. One part of my brain wants to list off a billion things at once, delighted that for one day out of the year, I’m allowed or at least expected to say what I want – perhaps it’s a DVD, a new dress, or new shoes. Maybe it’s a new haircut, a day at Disneyland, or just a nice dinner out. But this time, the other part of my brain (the miniscule intelligent part) knew that I couldn’t realistically have any of those things. So I dreamt bigger.
I thought, “Well, God has the best gifts for me, because He has everything, and He gives it away freely. . . So why shouldn’t I ask Him?” This year, I would like to see a miracle, Daddy. I would like to be able to harmonize and play guitar. I would like to meet the man who I am going to spend the rest of my life with, who is furiously in love with you. I would like to know your plans for my life.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
But Daddy, even if You don’t give me any of these things I’m asking for, please know that the little gifts You grant me with all your heart each and every day are enough for me. It’s enough that I have the opportunity to see your Kingdom on Earth. It’s enough that I can sing praises to You, and walk with You. It’s enough that You know my voice. You’re enough.
He really spoils me, and He’s eager to spoil you as well, because He’s in love with you. He invites us to dream big, because then He can show us so much more!
Ps. God, if You feel so inclined, can You wrap up my gifts with a giant God-sized Tiffany blue bow? 🙂
