You know when you are a kid, you want the Band-Aid to come off slowly, right? We think it won't hurt as much. (Well, when I was a kid, the adhesive on those suckers was STRONG stuff…..not the crappy adhesive that only sticks for about an hour they have now-a-days). So I would sit there in the bathroom, pulling ever so slowly, to get the Band-aid off. I yelled and screamed and cried with each little tug.
My mom would come in and say, "Do it quickly! It won't hurt as bad." Of course I never wanted to because I was scared. I was scared that it would be too painful. But she would grab that corner and yank it off!
I feel like life is yanking one thing or another away from me slowly in preparation for this trip. I have already moved away from my friends and my church family in Richmond. I've taken only a 20hr a week position at work (therefore I'm BROKE!). There seem to be lots more little things that I've lost over the past few months. Soon, I'll be taken away from my family, from my comfort zone, from America, etc.
This isn't easy. This is hard. This is real hard.
Sometime I just wish it would all be taken away from me at once so I could grieve it and get over it.
I think the amazing part of this is that God knows my heart. He knows that I probably would cave if I had ALL of this taken away at the same time. I don't make emotional connections to friends super easily and He knows that is something that I need or I'll just go crazy.
He is preparing me. He is teaching me that everything will be ok. He is slowly introducing me to a couple of people from my group (one awesome thing about Facebook). He is making me rely on Him now, so that I will rely on Him forever. He is putting disciplines in my life to teach me and equip me for the future.
He is teaching me to pray. And to pray ALWAYS.
This week has been tough. But I'm coming out of it with a new appreciation for who God is and what He has done for me. I can't even begin to know how to thank Him.
