“It’ll happen when you least expect it!”
“Today could be the day!”
“You just need to put yourself out there more”
“God’s timing is perfect”
“It’ll be worth the wait”
“You’re just so awesome it’s hard to find a match”
“Good things come to those who wait”
If one or all of those phrases make you wanna smack someone and/or barf, this blog is for you.
You did it. You pulled through another holiday season being single. You were able to dodge all the mistletoe, enjoy those precious moments with just you and your parents, be the 3rd, 5th or even 7th wheel for those festive parties, and make it through New Years without a kiss. Being single, what a gift eh?
This is a topic everyone thinks about but no one wants to talk about. The fact is, if you talk about being single too much people will mark you as desperate. However, we all have a longing inside of us to share our lives with someone else. The Bible even says, “It is not good for man to be alone…”(Genesis 2:18). We are fighting between the desire to find or be found by the love of our lives, while at the same time being content in the waiting. Let’s get real. Waiting SUCKS. Sure, when you’re 18 and have your whole life ahead of you waiting is easy. Once you enter your mid-to late 20’s, not so much.
Most people’s greatest fear is never finding that special someone to make a life with.
We go over and over in our minds things we could do to make ourselves more appealing. We work out, change our profile pictures, try to put ourselves in environments where you could meet someone, change our hair, make up or outfits in an effort to catch someone’s eye. We spend too much time on pinterest pinning our dream wedding to an invisible person that doesn’t exist. We pretend to be happy for the 17,000 people that just got engaged over the holidays. We “like” pictures but inside we are green with envy. We pretend to hate Valentines days and say things like “I don’t need the chocolate anyway”.
Don’t act like you don’t do this. Denial is a common side effect to the single life.
We try and convince ourselves that we don’t care, but deep down we do.
Since I was a little girl, my parents have told me I am treasure worth seeking after. They taught me to keep myself pure, both mind and body, until God brought the right one for me. I started praying for my husband as a young teen and, like most girls, started dreaming of the day my prince would come sweep me off my feet. Welp, guess what? He didn’t come; year after year passed and no prince. My closet is full of bridesmaid dresses. Nearly all my friends are married and starting families. In fact, I’m the only one in my family that is still single. Both of my younger brothers are engaged to be married THIS summer. The struggle is real.
I’ll be honest; this has been something I have really struggled with. Often I think to myself, “Where did I go wrong?”. But I didn’t. You see, often times we fabricate something in our minds about how our lives will turn out and then we are disappointed when it doesn’t happen. I gave my whole heart to Jesus a long time ago and have been following His voice as closely as I can ever since. I believe He has been leading my life. So He is to blame here. He’s the reason there’s no ring on this hand. All this waiting for the illusive “one” is getting old. Besides, who’s got time to wait?! We aren’t getting any younger people! And the truth is, we don’t have to wait on Him. We could just make things happen on our own. Shoot, people do it all the time. We could totally do it ourselves…but Sarah tried that and did you see how it turned out? (See Genesis 16).
God created the entire world, everything we see, in only 6 days. Pretty impressive. You would THINK it would be a no brainer to bring us a mate right? What is taking HIM so long?! That is the question of the day people. What’s His purpose and plan behind me still being single? Could He be working behind the scenes in ways we can’t see? Although it is really tough sometimes to believe, and probably my LEAST favorite phrase ever, His timing really is perfect. Just like He laid out the plan of salvation, from creation to the cross, He has a plan laid out for your life. If your heart’s desire is to live for Jesus and do it with someone else, He wants to make that happen for you.
What’s the catch? I’m glad you asked. The catch is, laying down YOUR dreams, expectations, timeline and ideas of what it’ll look like. Simple enough. Consider it DONE! Ha, it’s harder than it looks, trust me. Truly laying down your dreams for His is no easy task. It looks easy on paper and in your journal when you write things like “All I need is You Lord, the lover of my soul…” We have all done it, don’t feel alone. But God knows. God already has that person picked out for you. He just wants you to surrender to Him. Who knew being single was so much about surrender…honestly, the whole Christian faith is about it so we might as well try and get good at it. I read this the other day and it was pretty eye opening:
“Just think how amazing our dreams would be if instead of making them up for
ourselves, we asked God to give us a glimpse of His dreams for us. Those
dreams have all the benefit of being true and all the certainty of being fulfilled.”
What a concept. See, there’s no need to obsess or stress over if, when, or where we will meet this person. If you are following God, and your future spouse is doing the same, He will arrange for you to find each other somewhere along the path He laid out for you. As hard as it is, relax this year. Don’t stress about your future marriage. Choose to believe that what you are reading is true; GOD hasn’t forgotten you and you are lovable. Your past relationships that have failed are just God saving you from settling for less than His best. And as much as none of us want to hear it, it truly will be WORTH the wait.
