So maybe I am a tiny bit of a control freak…but what's wrong with liking to have a plan? I love my plans. I love to get all my ducks in a row and check things off my list. I love when things fall into place and plans come into completion. I like to know things ahead of time so I can prepare. I am an admin. I am used to crossing "t's" and dotting "i's". I am used to being the one who has it all together.
Welp, maybe this is one of the reason God is taking me on this journey. I have NO control of anything. Not which routes we take, what we do in each country, how we do things there – nothing. First off, let's talk about Ireland. That was the first country on my route. And I have to be honest, I was mainly looking forward to this country cause they speak English, it's pretty first world and would be a good way to ease into this trip. HA. Man, God is so funny. So then we get moved to Turkey, which is basically the opposite of Ireland in every way! Talk about jumping in head first and learning to swim. I finally got more comfortable with the idea, although with all the turmoil going on there we had to scratch it from the list. So here we are, two weeks from leaving the country, and I have no clue where we are going. Now, I am an adventurous and spontaneous person as well, but to be honest the control freak in me was freaking out! I can already see God at work. I am realizing that I have a hard time letting go of control and trusting God. Admitting it is the first step, right? My sister was kind enough to bring this to my attention and help open my eyes to what God wants to do in my life as I release control. I am thankful for her love and that she can be honest with me to help me become the woman God wants me to be.
This year is going to stretch me in every way possible. From living with people 24/7, learning to love others well – despite our differences, leaving comforts behind, being away from our families, living in a tent…the list could go on forever. But this stretching, this time on the potters wheel with Jesus is going to be the best time of my life. As I open myself up to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to come in and shave away the things that need to go, and mold the things that need some work and building new things in me, I know He will leave me better than I was before. That is my heart, no matter how painful it will be (and it will be painful. Letting go of flesh is never easy or fun), I want to come out looking more like Jesus, speaking more like Him, and acting more like Jesus.
Albania – that is the new country I will be going to the first month of the race. I can already see myself letting go and adapting to the unknown. I cannot control it, and at this point I am glad because God can do a much better job when I step out of the way and let go. So this me doing just that!
