Yes, you read this title right. Living in community will kill you. Let me tell you why.
As we begin this New Year, my mind has been drifting back about 8 months ago when I was headed to training camp for the WR. I was geeked out of my mind excited and ready for the greatest week of my life. I couldn’t wait to meet every single person on my squad and experience this amazing thing they call community. It didn’t go exactly like that. I went into that week thinking I was going to like everyone and they would of course feel the same about me. I had the highest expectations, and let me tell you…they were proved to be wrong! My bubble got burst pretty quickly. Community will kill you.
Let’s fast forward to now being on the field for nearly 7 months and already hitting the half way mark. Most of us have been living with the same 5-6 people for the past 6 straight months. Even if you lived with your very best friends that much you would want to throw them off a balcony, so you can imagine doing it with what were once complete strangers just half a year back would be quite the challenge. You’re developing pet peeves you didn’t know were possible to have. You are fighting to not let your feedback be “the way you chew makes me clinch my fist”. You begin to learn their habits and they know yours. You basically know everything about these people…even the things you didn’t want to know. Community will kill you.
The backpack. Let me just take a rant here. Living out of a backpack SUCKS! All you people who are getting ready for the race, you should prepare yourself. It is not fun. It is not exciting. It is not something you will enjoy. It gets smaller each month and no matter how much stuff you ditch you can’t seem to make it all fit. It’s heavy, bulky and a pain to carry anywhere. Each month it’s a circus as you’re running around trying to see if you can make the next weight limit. You’re rotating the same 5 outfits for a year. You get to the point where you would rather wear nothing than wear the same shirts you’ve been interchanging. Stress and tension is high as your whole team is scrambling around to make it all somehow fit into this monster you pack around on your back. If community won’t kill you, the backpack will.
Anyhow, back to what I was saying about community. I’m pretty sure it should be illegal for human beings to coexist this long in these close quarters. I mean, let’s get real people…who does this? We are crazy people. Trying to get 6 people to all agree or even begin to move like a family is like trying to climb Everest (we got to see that by the way, pretty amazing) – only the strong survive! We are all different people, from different states, with different backgrounds, personalities, beliefs, dreams, and reasons for coming on the race in the first place. So we’re supposed to function as one unit, in peace and unity. Trust me, it sounds easy but it is far from it. In fact, it might be the hardest thing I’ve done yet. Community will kill you.
I know what you’re thinking. Is this blog gonna have a light at the end of the tunnel? Has Tiff totally lost it? Relax. I’m getting there. Although some days when I spend the entire night on a train with several dozen Asians with chickens, birds and dogs accompanying me on it, I think maybe I have lost it. J I am speaking the truth people community will kill you. Either it will bring you to the place of quitting or it will bring you to the place of breaking. The two are both very different. Let’s talk about the first one, quitting. It’s the easiest of the choices. This can look like several things, for example: it could cause you to go home and quit the race, or maybe it will cause you to quit trying with people and live in a selfish state where you refuse to make any effort at all. Or it will break you. This one is the harder choice. You see, if you let God break you for people, that means He will rebuild you with His heart. Seems like a dream come true right? Not exactly. If He reconstructs your heart to beat like His, it means you will have to choose to love others the way He does. It means you will be patient and kind when you wanna junk punch someone. It means you make the conscience decision to put others needs before your own. Sometimes it means humbling yourself to apologize to someone you have wronged. It means loving the people that get under your skin. It means choosing to close your mouth when it’s so much easier to talk about that person that irritates you. It ultimately means I have to start looking at people the way God looks at me…perfect, blameless through His son, and entirely loved in every way possible. Community will kill you.
It’ll kill your flesh. If you let it, it’ll morph you into a true believer, one who walks in peace with everyone. I know, can you believe that’s in the Bible? EVERYONE? You think He really meant EVERYONE? Surely not. J But He did. If it’s one thing I am learning out here on the field is that it’s not hard to love the world. It takes little effort to break for the broken, hurt for the lost, and pour out love to the powerless. You see, that’s the easy part of the race. The hard part is giving that EXACT same love to the ones you spend every day with. The ones you are on the journey with deserve the same treatment. This is both humbling and convicting. We all signed up for this journey to change the world – to love people. However, what we most often forget are the people right next to us. But if we cannot love them, then we are hypocrites for saying we love the world. Because they are a part of the world, they are a piece of His story. Whether we like it or not, they are a part of our journey. If we cannot love them, we have no right to be out here loving the least of these. Christ died for us all. He didn’t choose His favorites, the cool kids, the people with the best personalities or stylish trends (which is basically none of us at this point. I’m wearing reindeer socks right now….#wrprobs). Anyway, He loved us ALL and He called us to LOVE one another. Community will kill you.
You think Jesus knew when He wrote, “The two greatest commandments are: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and LOVE your NEIGHBOR as yourself” that it would be this difficult? Sometimes I think to myself, surely He hasn’t met some of the people in the world! J I’m just being honest. Loving people isn’t easy. In fact, it’s probably the hardest task before us. You see, loving people means not loving yourself. And we all love ourselves, don’t we? We all wish people thought like us, talked like us and acted like us. Whether we admit it or not, we all wish people would be who WE want them to be instead of who GOD made them to be. Ouch. This hurts just to write it. The truth usually does. Community will kill you.
I wish I could tell you that I have been the most lovable person and it’s everyone else’s problem…but that would make me a liar. I haven’t been the best friend, teammate or Christian I know God wants me to be. I have fallen prey to gossip, ugliness, attitudes and drama. I haven’t loved like I should in every situation. I haven’t given grace in the amount I yearn to receive it. I haven’t looked at people through His eyes always. However I am thankful I serve a God who keeps me around, even though I fall so often short of all He wants me to be. I am forever grateful that He is not finished creating something new in me. I am also eternally indebted to Him for wiping my sins away, not just today but forever.
It’s a New Year people. And whether you are on the world race or not, we all are called to live in peace and harmony with each other. Perhaps you are preparing to go on the race right now. I will warn you, it is not for the faint of heart. Be prepared to die to who you are and pick up the person God wants you to do. It’s a painful, yet rewarding experience. Or you’re sitting in a cubicle dreaming a way to get your co-worker fired. Don’t act so surprised. We all have those people in our life. Maybe your kids are driving you nuts and you’re losing your hair. Perhaps your marriage is on it’s last leg and you’re ready to throw in the towel. Maybe you haven’t spoken to a loved one in years due to a fall out decades ago. Whatever your state of life right now, there is someone in your life that God wants you to love. Someone that is hard to love. But someone that was worth the precious Son of God’s blood to be shed. I encourage you this New Year, let community kill your flesh. Let God do that new work in your heart for people. Even though they can be a lot, and sometimes too much, He loves us all equally. Sometimes we forget that, I know I do. Jesus died for EACH living soul, whether they irritate you or not.
I am committing to make this year better than the last; to become more and more like my Jesus and less like Tiffany. The more I accept the Love of my Father, the more of a reality it becomes in my heart, the easier it will be for me to love His children – each and every one of them. Are you with me? Let’s actually fight to be the people God died for us to be and truly LOVE one another. I’m in!
