Living with 53 other amazing, beautiful, knowledgable brothers and sister in Christ is such a sweet thing. The only problem is sometimes you fall in to the trap of comparison. When your always surround by God and his people satan works the hardest. He points out every good and seeming perfect thing in others while pointing out every physical and spiritual flaw in you. He is good at it, but our Father is so much better in an all surrounding love that blocks Satans failed attacks. Don’t get me wrong I have felt him tap me at times, but PTL we have a love letter pointing out every good thing Our Father has given us.
Living here in Costa Rica for the past month has been a dream, and I am lifted higher daily by the people I am surrounded by, I love them. As I said in my last blog God has been trying to tell me to just be still and be with Him, right now I feel like I am continually failing, but each week He reveals something new with just sitting. This week has been sit still, and listen to my truth. Since I was little my life has been filled with anxiety, I have had times where I wouldn’t have it for so long but eventually it would sneak back into my world. I have never just sat and let The Lords truth cover me or my life. I have always been defined by lies of this world, people around me, or even my own fleshly thoughts. THIS IS NOT WHAT HE HAS CALLED US INTO AS FOLLOWERS! I have always known that and even hypocritically told others not to believe those lies.
I don’t want to live in the lies anymore. As proverbs 31 says I want to laugh at the days to come because I know Papa has me in his arms! I want to serve God and his people with a heart of pure joy without worrying of who is watching or approving or disproving. I want to be His and only his living life without fear or comparison. Now don’t get me wrong I am human I am going to struggle even fail, but I want to eventually not care who sees as the mess I am, because I know no matter how crazy or broken I am I have someone who loves me though it always without fail. How insanely beautiful and freeing is that? He knows the worst parts and still pursues me daily. So if I am always chosen I need to choose Him in return. Like I said I have always known this, but I have never had to completely depend on Him until now. Living in community is hard and I trip on the comparison trap daily, but I am growing and learning ways to avoid it everyday, so lets just sit and listen to His truth.
This week I taught the women karate and I got to hear more of their struggles as they come to a new place, though it all they talk about how faithful God is and how they know how He has everything under control. I strive to have half as much faith as these precious ladies. They have taught and loved me so well already. Next week we are heading to our first debrief so we will be getting some needed rest and time with The Lord. Thank you for all the prayers and support!! I can feel it all the way in San Jose, Costa Rica.
Blessings and Lots Love,
T
