The past months here in Costa Rica has been tough, but also some of the best months of my life. I have never had this much joy in my soul and God has been so consistent and good to me just like before but I had never had the heart, mind or soul to appreciate it. I have found forgiveness for myself and others, I have never spoken to the Lord this much or trusted Him as much as I do now. I am all together happy.
So what does this happiness look like, you maybe asking.. Well let me tell you. Having Christ joy in your soul feels like you could sing and dance for hours even when you’re sicker than a dog. It feels like listening to your favorite song on repeat and never getting tired of the same chorus because you always know its going to be good. Like driving down your favorite roads with the windows down talking to your very best friend. I got to call one of my sweet friends, and as I was telling about how the Lord was working and how I was feeling, tears streamed down my face as I looked back at the place where I had come from in the terms of joy and the way I let the Lord into my life before. The truth is I have never known a love or sweeter joy than I do now.
How did I get here? To be honest I am still figuring out where this all came from because one day the happiness just hit me like I truck and I haven’t gotten up from it. I am learning finally that I have no control, I am nothing nor do I contribute anything to people if I am not full of Christ wisdom. In situations when I had absolutely no idea what to do I go straight to the Lord and give it to Him. When I miss home, Mom and Dad, I go straight to the Father who is the more comforting than any person, place or thing in this world. I always knew that is all I had to do, but I always had people or things to run to at home (distractions), I have that here but there is constant encouragement to go the Father first. I’ll say it GO TO THE FATHER FIRST. Once I started having conversations with Him everyday I started to know what He was going say and how to handle situations in Christ ways.
Now don’t get me wrong I still get worried and cry when I get bad news from people back home. I get tired and don’t even get me started sick But I am seeing how I can’t do anything on my own without God right next to me. There is nothing I can say or do in my human flesh that could help people unless I am emerged in Christ love.
I am obviously in the honeymoon phase of my race, but I don’t care I’m happy and its all because of our sweet, loving heavenly Father who loves you and I so well. Only 23 more days here in our temporary home Of Costa Rica, my heart is getting sad but also excited for the next adventure my team is to have in South Africa.
