Sometimes I sit back and wonder why things happen the way they do. We go after things that we want and it seems like we can’t reach them. We beg God to let us have our “desires” and it seems like He just holds them out in front of us. He gives us a glimpse but we never truly get what we want. And often times, we take it out on God. We ask Him why we can’t have these things that He knows we want so bad. So, why do we do this? Why does it seem like God doesn’t want us to have what we desire? In the Bible it says that God will give us the desires of our hearts. So why aren’t we getting them?
First, we need to look at our desires. I heard something really interesting about desires from a passage in Luke 18. Jesus is walking past a blind man and he calls out to him. He says “Jesus son of Nazareth, have mercy on me!” (vs 40). What is Jesus’ reply? “What do you want me to do for you?” Or “what do you want me to do?” Or even shorter, “what do you want?” Jesus wants to know what it is that we want. What is it that we desire most? What are the things that would make us call out to Jesus in a public setting even louder after we have been rebuked? What are we wanting so bad we’ll embarrass ourselves and fight for? I’m not talking about the 99 cent desires like that new truck or a romantic relationship. Maybe it’s a new place to live or, for me, an Auburn National Championship. These things aren’t desires, they’re just wants. My definition of desire is this— the yearning of our hearts that allows us to come fully alive. When I asked myself what I truly desired, my list was a lot different. I desire to be a father, a husband. I desire to work in recovery and teach inner healing. I desire to lead men back to God when they feel so lost from Him. No wonder God wasn’t giving me the “desires” of my heart. Because they don’t lead me to my true desires, my passions, and what makes me come fully alive. I truly believe our deepest desires will all be given to us if we know what it is we really desire.
Secondly, how are we asking our Father for things? In this passage in Luke, the blind man calls out to Jesus. The people around Jesus rebuke the man but he then calls out even louder. Sometimes, when I call out to God, I just ask once or just say, “Well, God doesn’t have that in store for me.” Or, when I’m struggling with something that won’t go away— “It’s just a part of God’s plan,” and there’s not always something wrong with that. Surrender and acceptance are great things but prayer has power. This man has imagination. He hasn’t put Jesus in a box. He refuses to accept the norm that has become his life and he is willing to ask. Even if it doesn’t work, he’s not afraid to ask. So many times, I put God in a box. I’m not willing to ask Him to intervene because I think He won’t listen. He’s already working here so why would He change His mind? But I forget that it’s because He loves us. We are His children and He desires to give us what we desire. And if what I desire is something that builds His kingdom and is life changing for, not only myself, but others, I think He would give it to me. Or, at least, think about giving it to me. But we have to be bold and ask Him. We have to take Him out of the box we put Him in.
Lastly, our God is mighty and loving but He is also jealous. I’ve been struggling a little bit with something wondering where or what God was doing in it— why He didn’t give me what I wanted. I was listening to the song “How He Loves Us” this morning. And the first thing I hear is “He is jealous for me.” And I realize while I’ve heard this song so many times, He’s literally jealous for ME. And what do jealous people do? They go after what they feel is theirs— they fight for what they want. They act out for what they crave. So, when my Father sees me going after things that aren’t of Him, He fights for me. More often than not, I don’t like it and I feel like He’s holding things back from me. But really, He is jealous for ME and He wants me to come back to what He has in store for me. He isn’t holding back things, He has them waiting for me. I just have to figure out what things are my flesh and what are what He has for me. HE LOVES US. He is so in love with us that He is willing to do what’s necessary for our good— even if it hurts us temporarily. Because of His LOVE. A love we can’t understand. If you haven’t felt it yet, you should ask; because when you do, it changes us. It’s beautiful and so heavy; but so light at the same time. It surrounds us and it brings us life.
Quick Update from the field: We are in Kenya. I don’t have data and rarely have WiFi so I will be trying to keep you all up to date as it comes available. We are staying with the Glory Shiners Ministry. They are based out of Commerce, Ga. so neat facts. The leader Joel Beauchamp also struggled with addiction. He entered a recovery center that focuses on inner healing deal with addiction. The same classes he went through at his program I went through at No Longer Bound. Our days consist mostly of going to the local prison here in Nakuru and leading inner healing classes for the inmates. It’s amazing how God works and brought me to this ministry.
I love y’all. God is Good!
Thomas Pond
