“Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere” . This is the first part of Psalms 84:10 and part of a worship song I found myself singing last night. Then it struck me, very deep and sharp; I have had a day in his courts. Actually, I have had over a THOUSAND of those. I recently passed the three-year mark of my life with Jesus, of being in his courts with his love, guidance, provision, and promise.
This is MY story, of what God has done with 1,000 days of a broken young man. This is why we must learn to lay our lives in the hands of our Father. If you don’t believe me, I urge you to read on.
I was a typical wordley man, chasing success, money, and sex. I played the “happy guy” because according to the world, I had what “everyone else wanted”. I had a well-paying job with great co-workers (one being my brother), I had a girlfriend, a nice apartment, and a comfortable lifestyle. Unfortunately after I obtained these things, they did not fulfill me; behind the mask was an ugly reality.
My relationship was falling apart, my family was having continued problems of division, and I was tied to a car loan that would take over 5 years to pay off. Friends to me were people I needed to make me feel better about my “mundane life”. They were also the competition I had to beat out. I wanted them to feel bad for the “rough life” I had lived. I couldn’t travel due to lack of time and finances, and was caving to the social pressures telling me that my life “needed to be exciting”. Internally, I had a porn addiction I refused to admit to anyone, and was living paycheck to paycheck. This life made me a bitter, selfish, and prideful man; it pushed me further into denial.
The compilation of emotional baggage included abandonment, sexual and physical abuse, emotional instability, victimization, and resentment. Once my friends walked away from the unhealthy relationship I put them in, I would add the experience to the abandonment pile and in an attempt to look strong, put on a smile on for everyone to see. This is a preview of the hole I dug myself into before Christ.
That was until March 13th, 2014. It was a hard day. Life was falling apart all over again, only this time I decided to do something different. Instead of adding this rough experience to the already unbearable load, I decided to give it to Christ. Not just the experience of that day, but all days past, present, and future. With tears flowing out of my eyes I said the words over and over, “Here is my heart Lord, here are all the broken pieces. I have tried to run my life my way. For what It’s worth here is my heart Lord. Do with me what you will.”
It was a beautiful yet ugly site. Though tears and snot covered my pillow case, it was the first time Jesus possessed the shattered parts of my heart. It was the beginning of an amazing journey that has led me to this day and will take me through to his kingdom.
Over the course of the next 2 years, he taught me how to deal with my insecurities, sins, and hurts. I realized all I need is to give my crap to God. You see, God doesn’t just want your best. He wants your worst too. To make us the best we can be, we must first offer up the worst parts to him. We must ask him to speak his identity over those dark parts of our life in order to have freedom from bondage. That is how he turns pain and suffering into strength and joy, which is also known as the process of sanctification. It is that “dying to self” and “coming alive in Christ” proclaimed in the Bible.
When this revelation came to me, the internal change had an external effect. My family, coworkers and friends began noticing the difference. I exchanged demeaning words for words of life, my countenance radiated joy, and my relationships turned from burdensome to blessing.
I started serving, and being humbled by how much we need him; my needs were met by him. Getting rid of baggage left a big hole in my identity, waiting for God to fill! I started pressing in and asking him “ Who am I? Who have you created me to be!?” This question led me to discover about who my father is and who I am. It has allowed God to take me on a journey with Jesus’s example and the holy spirit as my guide.
I received a peace that surpassed all understanding. My emotional state was no longer dependant on my current situation but the understanding of who I am in Christ. I started living within my means and experiencing freedom in God.
Now, my life is defined by the truth of God’s love for me; all he has done for me to be in relationship with him. This led me to an intimacy with the Father like never before; shedding the identity of the world and putting on the identity of being a Son. After all that is a title that will last an eternity.
A thousand days with Jesus has changed my life for the better. I am not tied down by sin, shame and regret, but am defined by the words and promises of my Father. I’m encouraged by the community of believers around me. He has fully given me the desires of my heart, experiencing a freedom like never before. He has changed my meaningless life to a life of purpose, fulfilling dreams that always seemed too far away. I have a joy and peace that overflows into the lives of those around me.The chains that held me down have been cut. I have been given the wings of an eagle to explore the Father’s love with the freedom he has given me. If you want to be a world changer, you must first let God change your world.
A thousand days in his courts has completely turned my life around. What were once burdens are now blessings, and what overcame me I have now overcome! It sounds so great, and it is. It’ll take submitting and admitting your faults to the Father. What you receive in return is infinitely better; a relationship with the creator of the universe. So I implore you, if you haven’t already, give Jesus a try for 1,000 days. Don’t you see!? It’s a love story, and I am 1,000 days in!
