I want to have the best story. I want to be the one who lays hands on the dead lady when she rises from the dead. I want to be the one who gives the alter call and thousands accept Christ. I want to be the one who shows up to debreif with all the awesome God stories. I want to be the person who knows something about everything. I want to have all the crazy awesome stories. I want to be the one who looks great in every situation. I want to be the one with all the friends. Me, myself and I. I am realizing that I have this desire to always be the best. Is it an identity thing? i don’t know; i don’t think so. it comes down to me wanting all the glory. ugly thing to say, but its true. I mean, I love God and everything and all the glory to God. Its just that on Earth I’m realizing I have this sinful desire to want to be the person who always looks good. I want to have all the praise and glory for always being the best at things. I’m also calling this my wanna-be-god complex. In the garden of Eden, Satan tells Eve that she will be like god if she eats of this fruit. Desiring to be full of knowledge and power, Eve eats the fruit and gets herself and Adam kicked out of Eden forever. Do I want to be full of knowledge and power? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of making mistakes or doing the wrong thing. I just want to have all this praise like I excel at everything.
Therefore this is what the LORD Almighty says: “See, I will refine and test them, for what else can I do because of the sin of my people? Jeremiah 9:7
I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’ ” Zechariah 13:9
