Counting Down
15 days until spring break…
78 days until I graduate college…
95 days until the World Race…
I spent my Monday morning in front of a calendar, counting down the days until all of these exciting events; relishing in the fact that each day the numbers decrease and I am one day closer. Closer to a break, closer to my goals, closer to seeing the fruit of all this hard work.
Then God hit me with a heart check…
“Why are you wishing all of this time away? What is wrong with where you are right this second?”
UGH! Why do we do this? Why is it such a human experience that we are always longing for the next event instead of being content where God has us? It has to be the most frustrating thing for God. I can imagine Him looking at us, scratching His head, saying something along the lines of, “I have given you all you need. You are who I say you are, stop placing your value in your accomplishments. I will sustain you if you just trust me! Would you just let me have this?”
Psalm 90: 14 says “satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”
Notice that it says all our days; not just the days where things fall together and we see the fruit of hard work. Every single day should be a day that we are rejoicing and celebrating our relationship with God and his steadfast love. God is so much bigger than the dull daily activity of our lives. I wonder what would happen if we chose to let Him into every seemingly mundane part of our life. Would we be so connected to Him that it wouldn’t matter what frustrations, struggles, or trials come our way? Would we be able to find joy in everything? Would we be able to see Him everywhere?
I want to be the kind of person that is so connected to God and has such a close personal relationship with Him that when people look at me, they see Jesus more than they see me. That they look at me and say, “what do you have that I am missing?” I do not want to wish away this precious time; time to prepare, work, pray, and learn. More than anything, I want these next 95 days to be so full of trusting God that I lose count of days.
My prayer this year is “God, let them see you! I am so tired of me. Help me die to self and pick up my cross everyday so that everyone I encounter can see you and only you!” I really believe that trusting God with my time, especially these next 95 days, will help me prepare to do just that when I launch on this mission. Senior year of college has been the most stressful time of my life, fundraising is often draining, landlording a house can be exhausting… I have learned a lot about real friends, I have experienced new forms of heartache… but God is SO MUCH BIGGER! I can be productive with my time, but I can only imagine what God can do when I surrender my time to Him.
