I have to say, Training Camp was a whirl wind, I still have so much to unpack I wouldn’t be surprised if I spend the rest of the year trying to truly understand or see what God did at TC. Honestly, the World Race has not been at all what I expected and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. In fact, my expectations were shot down the second we arrived in Gainesville (something I cautiously and vaguely asked God for) as I continue to say, “Okay, God. I am all in.”
One thing that seems to be a total culture shock is the way World Race TC does worship. For the first time in my life I get to see worship that is less about talented musicians (though they are incredibly talented) and more about actually encountering Jesus, creating a space that looks and feels like it should when worshipping. I thought that I heard from God on a frequent basis, but the people here have something I am not sure I have seen so consistently… a relationship with the Holy Spirit that is unmatched. Asking God for answers, actually expecting an answer and then acting obediently according to His response. These people, our leadership, know exactly whose they are and they place their identity accordingly. They walk boldly and confidently in the things that God calls them to. These people know Jesus, like they really KNOW Jesus and it has to be the most refreshing atmosphere. In just ten days God has broken chains I didn’t know I was carrying, pushed me to trust Him more, given me opportunity to say yes, placed me in a group of likeminded people that truly and genuinely love Him, and given me a glimpse of what He actually intends for our lives…
Unfortunately, I don’t believe that God designed it like this. Being here, even just for ten days, has given me a peek into the spiritual deadness that is often found in American church buildings. Don’t get me wrong, I know that God moves in churches and I think there are a lot of things we do right, but I’m not sure that all the ways and structures of church are God-breathed. I believe that He intends to encounter every person that wants to encounter Him but maybe we are doing it wrong. I wonder what would happen in our churches if we started and ended with a “yes” on our hearts and actually demystified the other 33% of who God is as Holy Spirit. I certainly do not have all the answers or experience, but I can confidently say that there is more to God than Sunday mornings, small group, and reading your bible.
So as far as expectations go: It rained nonstop for the first six days, soaking all of our gear. I was covered head to toe in dirt at any given moment. Bucket showers have cut my shower times to approximately 4.3min. The waste tanks of the porta-johns are nearly overflowing. Speaking of which, our digestive systems are all kinds of out of whack. I am surrounded by people from 7am-11pm, an introverts dream. My legs are hairy and we all smell bad. Apparently I have curly hair… thanks humidity. Sleep seems to be more like a series of naps, some longer than others. My expectations have all been destroyed and I couldn’t be more happy about where my heart is… because I am available and expectation-less (yup, just gunna make up that word for now). I keep asking God for more, and He is giving me more. I keep asking God for truth, and He is giving me truth. So maybe I do have one expectation that I will be holding onto… God shows up. I expect Him to move and speak in my life and the lives of my team and squad. If the last ten days have been so Jesus-soaked, I cannot wait to see what the next year will look like.
On the plane ride from Georgia to Florida I sat next to my new friend Mac. We chatted about how exciting it was to finally be here, doing the thing. We talked a bit about our personal stories; life before the race, why we signed up, some of our dreams and expectations… meanwhile at the window seat sat a man I’ll call “Roy” (since I am not sure he would want me to share his name.) The flight was only an hour and a half and Roy ignored us for the first 45 min, with his earbuds in and eyes closed. Then he had to get up to go to the bathroom and when he came back we struck up a conversation about how he is telling his boss his car broke down and will be working from home, but his boss doesn’t know that he has a second home in the Dominican Republic, where he plans to spend the next week. We laughed and continued to chat about life, work, and kids. Mac asked about the cross necklace he was wearing and the conversation seemed to take a turn. Roy opened up to us about his broken relationship with his son, how the church and religion have made him turn away from the church, that his sweet friend is very sick, how much he loves his horses and chickens, and why he believes that he can have a relationship with God without all the religion. He thanked us for being good listeners and said, “there is something about you guys that is different. Thank you for talking to me.” Mac and I smiled, knowing full well that the difference is Jesus… or the overflow of Jesus. We asked if we could pray for him and with tears in his eyes he said, “yes, I would like that.” As we held his hands and Mac started to pray, Roy cried and listened intently to every word she spoke as we landed. We deplaned and hugged him as he took off for a connecting flight. Mac and I looked at each other, recognizing that this is our life… and the mission doesn’t start in Nicaragua. At training camp the teachers kept saying “life is ministry, ministry is life” and it didn’t click for me until I met Roy. How often am I the one with earbuds in, eyes closed, just trying to get where I need to be that I miss the people around me. We have planes… and trains and cars and theatres and stadiums… full of heartbroken people that just want to be seen and noticed. People that desperately need Jesus and it truly doesn’t take much effort to bring Jesus where we are. Mac and I didn’t have to tell Roy that we love Jesus, he noticed the Jesus in us without a single word.
Here is a challenge for you: reach out and touch someone. You have no idea what a genuine hug means. I challenge you to get to know someone you wouldn’t usually talk to.
A few things I want to declare now:
-God is bigger than my human brain could ever comprehend.
-I recognize that I belong here and I have a unique role to fill.
-I am enough and God will use me, change me, grow me, activate me, and speak to me in the coming months.
