Late this afternoon I spent some time sitting on the banks
of Lake Lanier. Contemplating life
I suppose. You see as of recent I have been asking God why He isn’t saying
‘yes’ to my requests to go to Haiti.
While I was sitting on the bank I kept hearing the question,
“Teri, would you be satisfied if where I currently have you is the closest you
will get to Haiti?” I found myself answering ‘no’.
Then I started wondering what it means to truly be satisfied
in life. Do the things I have make me satisfied? Does the car I drive or the
things I eat make me satisfied? Does my job or living in Gainesville, GA make
me satisfied?
I felt God asking me if I was the richest person in the
world and lived in a high rise apartment in New York City would I be satisfied?
If I had a husband and lived in a cabin on a lake would I be satisfied? If I
lived in Haiti and had no money would I be satisfied?
The thing that would make me the happiest person right now
would be to be on a plane to Haiti. What makes you the happiest you could ever
be?
Then I realized that I was allowing situations to determine
how satisfied I was. When what I need to be doing is seeking after God’s heart
24/7. Sometimes I am to focused on
being a do-gooder and miss the point that I just want to be closer to the heart
of God. Sure while I am getting closer to the heart of God I am doing good
things but I cant let the things become the focus of my satisfaction.
I came to the conclusion that God was trying to get me to
find all of my satisfaction in Him.
” Come all who are thirsty, come to
the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat…” ” Why spend money on
what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to
me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”
–Isaiah 55:1-2
If I seek Him and run after His heart to fill me up and to
satisfy me it will not matter where I am or what circumstances I am in. If I am
satisfied with the Father I should be content anywhere He has me.
I am still trying to understand all of this. I would be
lying if I told you I could say I would be satisfied IF God told me I was never
going back to Haiti. I believe God wants me in a place where no matter my
circumstance and no matter my desires I am satisfied with only Him.
** God has not told me I am not going back to Haiti just to make that clear**
