This past week has been a transition week for me. I moved from the biggest city in Haiti, Port-au-Prince, to a little countryside town called Montrouis. I thought I was going to be excited to be outside of the city but I have found the exact opposite to be true. I miss living in Port-au-Prince. I think I miss being around civilization, but I have yet to pinpoint my exact reason for missing it so much.
This week we have been preparing the school to start. It will be starting on Thursday. I am writing a blog about that and it will be posted soon. What I want to talk about is something that hit me like a brick today.
I was sitting in the office at the school and was having a hard time being okay with being here at Canaan Community and Orphanage. A lot of the kids who live here actually have parents who just cannot take care of them. They get 3 meals a day, clean drinking water, have beds to sleep in, the opportunity to go to a good Christian school and have roofs over their heads.
The past 2 months I have been in Port-au-Prince and been to several different orphanages, one of which came to mind today. Son of God orphanage in Port-au-Prince has 126 children. There are so many little kids though that most of them are not being taken care of adequately. They sometimes run out of food and drinking water and they do not get to go to school right now. They live on top of each other practically.
Today, I found myself asking God why He has me here and not helping in some way at that orphanage. I still do not have an answer to that question. The only question that keeps coming into my head is, “Why arm I here when there is so much need out there?” Which is a funny question coming from someone living in a country that is in need everywhere.
Then I look into the eyes of a child here and realize that I am helping them get an education that will hopefully be part of a change for Haiti’s future. I have to keep reminding myself of that every hour of the day it seems like. I am sure once school starts and I have more focus on the kids it will get easier but right now I am really struggling with all that I have seen and experienced over the last 2 months and being okay with not still being in the middle of it.
I can definitely see two different sides to Haiti right now. I have experienced the raw need in Port-au-Prince and now I am experiencing a different type of need out in the countryside. There is still a need in the countryside, don’t get me wrong, people still need food and water, its just different somehow. I am sorry I am lacking the words to explain it better.
If you want to know how to pray, I just ask that you pray that I would be content where God has me in this country and in this season of my life.
