I returned from training camp on Sunday broken for Christ. Some of you may not understand that phrase. In fact I can already hear some of you saying, “That can’t be a good thing” while others are saying, “I thought camp was supposed to prepare you for next year, not break you.” Let me explain.

 

 
When I say I am broken for Christ it means that I break inside for the things that the heart of Christ breaks for. Christ has put inside each of us something that breaks us. Some of us are broken for women’s ministry, men’s ministry, children’s ministry, prison ministry, youth ministry etc. I have been broken for international missions and particularly orphan ministry.
 

So how do we ‘fix’ being broken you may ask. I do not believe that there is a permanent fix for this condition other than the return of Jesus Christ. The heart of Christ will always break for someone until He returns; therefore, my heart should always break for someone.  


 
I fully expect my brokenness to get much worse next year. But I also expect to find beauty in my brokenness when I am feeding orphans. I expect to find beauty when I am singing and praying with orphans. I expect to find beauty when I am sharing God’s love with orphans. And I expect to stay broken for them while I am basking in the beauty of it all.

 
 
I believe that I will be broken for many other things next year, but I am not scared about that brokenness. Earlier today I told someone that I was not okay with not being okay. I have since come to the reality that the best place to be is not okay. The moment I become okay is the moment I am not connected to Jesus Christ. The moment I become okay is the moment I have lost contact with the heart and eyes of Jesus. You see, when I am not okay, I see with Jesus eyes and feel with Jesus heart because He sees those hurting and aches for those crying. I am okay with not being okay because it is the only way for me to live! I choose to find beauty in my brokenness.

Are you okay today or are you broken for Christ?