What Are You Thinking?

What Are You Thinking?

Great question……… I have no idea how to convey my thoughts!

Don’t you wish you could just turn off your brain at times?

I feel like the last 11 months my brain has been on “energizer bunny speed” going a hundred miles an hour with all the things that I have taken in. I’ve heard the illustration that men’s minds are like waffles……able to compartmentalize in nice neat little pockets of thought…..women’s minds are more like spaghetti……interwoven with no clear beginning and end….I think my spaghetti is getting pretty tangled!! My mind has had a spasm! What do I do with all these things I have experienced and witnessed?

My thoughts run all day long.. But when people ask, I don’t know what to say or where to begin. What is happening? Someone may ask, “What have you been doing?” Where do I even start? These questions are so overwhelming and yet so good. I want to share, I want to tell what God has been doing! But where do I even start?! What do I share? What do I keep? Sometimes this life and the crazy things that have happened don’t even seem crazy. In my world right now crazy is the norm. So I don’t even think about sharing it until I hear a friend sharing about our life and I am like “Wow, that is really cool what God did or how we got to experience that.”

For me, I think it is something that might come out in bits and pieces. Or maybe a huge chunk will plop out all at once. But one thing I do know, it will just happen. I cant force anything. Sometimes I want to share so much and it just pours out. The poor person asking really didn’t know what they were getting into. Other times I am just speechless and all I can say is, “It is going well. I am learning and God is good.”

But I guess it comes down to trusting God and knowing He will bring to mind what I should share and when to share it. If I have nothing to say, instead of feeling dumb and mute, I will just trust now is not the time to share. And I will trust that when I spill my guts and speech just pours out in abundance that God has prepared the person who asked and they can show me grace by listening. Hopefully God can use it to teach them about Himself.

So even though my thoughts are constantly running to and fro like wild little monkeys, even though I frequently question the things of this world and the things NOT of this world, I hope what comes from the gradual untangling of my musings is a deeper trust, a deeper knowing of my Beloved.