Tired But a Nudge

 

I was tired. I was doing things out of obligation. I knew I should, so I did. This means I was doing it out of my own strength. I wasn’t finding joy in it. I hated this. I am horrible at loving. I can’t do this. So after lunch I went and got alone time with God. Confessing that I was not loving Him, that I was not going to Him for love, that I was doing things to get them done and not doing them for His glory. And when I was doing it I was being prideful.

God, I want to do things because I love you, not just because I know that they are the right thing to do. I want to find joy in loving these people. Please fill me up so I can pour out your love onto others.

I heard Ate Gala come down to the hut. She was talking with April. I felt the nudge from God to go and pray for her. But God gave me a desire, not the feeling like I had to. After April and I prayed for her I felt another nudge from God to go with her to the little store to get medicine for her husband.

Nathan and Ate Jennifer joined in (Ate Babe’s daughter and grandson). After talking about life I felt the nudge to go with Ate Gala to pray for her husband up on the hill. His welcoming grin hid the pain that he was in. Once we got there I laid my hands on his flaming hot arm. (The next day when I saw Him, God had healed him!)

 

Ate Irene and her little baby Jesca came over to talk. Ate Gala made us juice and bread. I felt the nudge to ask her questions. As Ate Irene opened up and shared about her relationship with her husband my heart broke.

“I had to go to Dubai to get work because my husband could not get a job. I was gone for a year. When I got back things were different. He had cheated on me when I was gone. He denied it but later confessed. I want to forgive him. Have I? I don’t know. I say I do, but I do not feel it. I don’t feel love from him. I can’t trust him. I mean, I think it has gotten better…I don’t know�

As I shared the little wisdom that I knew I felt the nudge to pray for her.

Her cousin came by with her one month old baby. “Come over Ate Teresa, I want to feed you sticky rice.� (These people love to feed me. I think I have gained 5ib, but I sure feel loved).

As we talked about being a mother, raising kids, and enjoying the sweet rice I felt at home. They treated me like their own. As I made my way down the hill to make a quick visit with King, I ran into his brother Rosell who made me a note with shells that he found for me.

 

 â€œAte Teresa, I got you something!â€�

As I stepped into King’s home he greeted be with his priceless grin and a big hug. He reaches for my arm and put a heart bracelet on my wrist.

As I walked home, Gencil ran up to me and said she was just stoping by to see me and that she missed me.

Why do these people love me so much? They genuinely care about me.They really don’t have anything yet give me their best. God, I want to give you my best! Even the little kids love me so well. It’s you God! You are loving me through them.

Boy, did He ever fill me up.

Reminder for myself. Don’t wait till you are drained to be filled up. Ask right away, and He will. J In ways that are overwhelmingly good!

Once again God gave me what I do not deserve, overflowing His grace upon me. All I did was ask…nothing more.