This month my squad celebrated our halfway mark on the race. Actually, Valentines day was the official halfway mark, which to me reminded me of the One that loves me so deeply that He would take me around the world to experience His love in new and exciting ways.
But, if I can be honest the halfway mark of my Race has been difficult. I realized for the first time this month, that I’m tired, that I miss my loved ones, and that this journey is long.
I’m tired of the buddy system. The World Race requires that we never be by ourselves in public, and ALWAYS walk in pairs. Just writing those words kills a part of my introverted soul.
I love my team, but sometimes a girl just wants to take a stroll by herself, you know? Other times, you just want to do what you want to do, and not have to convince someone else why what you want to do is a good idea. Good thing God has given me a humongous amount of grace in this area, by giving me a team that is like-minded in some ways, and overall, pretty flexible.
I’m also physically tired. I am feeling my age ya’ll! It’s not easy carrying a 50lb bag on your back at least once a month. But besides that, with all this moving and shaking that we do on the Race, my body is feeling it. I hope to be in much better shape by the end of my Race, and have way less pain.
I miss my loved ones. I have only placed one call since being on the field (to my God-daughter on our shared birthday…smile!). Mostly that is because I can’t get my facetime to work for the life of me! But also, I didn’t really miss home too much until this month. This is partially because “home” for me doesn’t really exist anymore since my Mom has gone on to be with the Lord, and I moved out of my apartment pre-Race. So, since my post Race season will determine what “home” now means, I haven’t really missed it too much. I have however missed my Mom (even though I haven’t lived with her in many years, she has always been home to me).
So, this month, I truly began to miss my family and friends, that are the best in all the world. I miss my nephews and God-babies so much…I know they are growing so big, and I pray they remember me when I get back (at least I know Simi will remember me…your too old to forget me…haha…I love you so much Boo & I miss you).
The journey is long. The World Race is weird. It is fast, and it is slow. I can’t understand how I’m about to enter month 7!??!!!!?!?! But at the same time it feels like I’ve been away for a long while. So many experiences, so many new people, change, change, and more change. Each day is different. Some days I’m over it, other days I’m exhilirated and full of awe. It’s life….life on the Race, and both of those feelings are real.
At the core of it all, I feel like I am so fortunate to be living out my calling. Who gets to travel the world, and share the love of Jesus, partnering with vastly different ministry partners and projects? This girl does, and at the end of the day, every bit of it is worth it! I love my life, I love that God placed the desire in me to travel the world in His name. I love that a couple of years ago He had me stumble upon The World Race website and confirmed that desire with an opportunity. I love that this is just the beginning of what He has for me. And I love that even in my fatigue, I am reminded of Him. For He replaces my weakness with His strength, and my impatience with patience. He bestows on me perseverance instead of wavering will, to finish the race strong.
I’ve never been a runner, but I would imagine that at every halfway mark, runners have grown fatigue and are tempted to stop. In moments of weakness, I’ve been tempted as well. But, I believe God, and know that greater things are coming.
I believe that they’ll be greater things in this 2nd half of my journey then the 1st (and the 1st part was pretty awesome!) I believe that I haven’t seen the “best of The Race” but that God has plans to do more in these next 5 months, then I’ve seen in the past 6. I believe that He is taking me on a journey that will cause me to trust Him more, risk more, and run after Him harder then ever before.
That is also my prayer for you today. Are their areas of your life that you have grown weary? Maybe you are tired of your daily grind, or your responsibilities and commitments. I’d like to remind you of the One that gives strength for your weakness, comfort for your brokenness, and endurance for your seemingly long journey. Jesus longs to stand in the gaps of our lives, and He longs for us to look towards Him with expectation that what He has before us is far greater then what lies behind. Continue pressing forward in your race and I’ll be here, doing the same thing.
“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2
