Yesterday I lost my GoPro. I went white water rafting in level four rapids, but that wasn’t when I lost it. In a genius endeavor I decided to jump off a bridge 20 feet above the water with my GoPro on my wrist attachment, it snapped off on the impact, and it is now somewhere at the bottom of the river.
I was upset about the money loss, obviously. My GoPro was the second most expensive thing I had with me next to my laptop. But I could get over the money relatively easily, knowing that “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I want to live in such a way that I hold the things I own loosely. There isn’t a thing here that I’m going to take with me to heaven.
But what I was upset about was losing the most epic footage ever. I had awesome shots of us rafting those rapids, and it would have made a very sweet video. So I got to thinking yesterday. I had been feeling some promptings for a while, but losing my GoPro was the incident I needed to give me a nice kick in the right direction.
I got up this morning and prayed and fasted about a lot going on in my life, and God slapped me in the face (in a nice, yet forceful, way). He asked me to give up video making for the next month, because it is not beneficial to me anymore. What I started with joy and with the intent of glorifying God has turned into an obligation and an identity issue. I felt obligated to AIM to make videos because they love vlogs, I felt obligated to my supporters and to parents of my teammates to give you all a glimpse of what we’re doing, and I felt obligated to myself to make sure people knew that I was living an awesome life (ha).
This is not the reason I started making videos. I wrote down my purpose for vlogging before I left, and it was to glorify God, to document memories, to encourage fellow believers, to lead the lost to Christ, and to update my supporters. Yet when God asked me to give it up, my response was, “okay, just after we hike Quilotoa.” We leave tomorrow morning to do a four-day hike around the volcano, Quilotoa, walking six to eight miles each day. It would be a cool video. But the Spirit kept whispering, “Lay it down.” So I did.
If anything ever gets to the point where you’re not willing to give it up if God asked you to, it has become an idol. I realized a couple years ago that I have a big tendency to make good things idols. We all do. Our hearts are meant to idolize something, and they will. But the only thing worthy of that throne is Christ.
Another reason for this video fast is that God has told me to write a book. This is the biggest dream God has given me, and a month or so ago He told me that now is the time to really bring it to fruition. After praying with a lot of faith for a great publisher to be sent my way, I realized I needed to not only pray like it depended on God, but also to work like it depended on me.
So I started my book proposal in Iquitos. I’m super excited about this endeavor, but it is quite extensive. A book proposal is almost as big a task as writing a book. My goal is to finish this book proposal by the end of the Race.
Well, I haven’t touched that proposal in over a week because of how busy we have been and because every free moment is spent transferring footage onto my hard drive or editing videos. There is abundant blessing in obedience, and while I do believe my videos glorify God, I have lost my joy in them and I need to be obedient to the other big things God has put on my heart, as well.
When I get to heaven I don’t think God is going to ask me why I lost my GoPro in a river. I do think He would ask (if such a thing happens in heaven) why I was not obedient to writing the book He told me to write.
I will make videos in the future, but I need to rest, pursue my team and be present to our ministry, and work on another dream right now. I will reevaluate in a month, but I want videos to be a joy rather than a burden or an idol.
The second I gave in and decided I would do the fast, I felt an immediate weight lifted from my shoulders. I felt free: free to not plan out a story every minute of every day, free to not always have my camera charged, free to not feel like I have to film every part of ministry or every part of an adventure, and free to knock videos off the shelf of my heart and replace them with Jesus.
So, losing my GoPro sucked. But I know it is one of the best things that has happened to me thus far on the Race. I am not going to replace it, because I don’t have that kind of money to throw around. And I really will be okay with the footage I lost. The loss forced me to reevaluate my priorities and make sure everything is in its proper place.
A passage I have been chewing on this week is Isaiah 2. I hope it speaks to you today.
“In the last days the mountain of the LORD’s temple will be established as the highest of mountains; it will be exalted above the hills, and all nations will stream to it…
The LORD Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled), for all the towering mountains and high hills, for every lofty tower and every fortified wall, for every trading ship and every stately vessel. The arrogance of man will be brought low and human pride humbled; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day, and all the idols will totally disappear…
Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?”
All idols will be destroyed, whether they are physical or manifested in your heart. Why wait for the final day when you can allow God to reassert His rightful place on the throne of your heart today? Are you seeking the approval of man, or of God? Where is your treasure? Pride comes before the fall. I pray that if you have hidden idols in your heart today that God reveals them to you and that you have the strength to lay them down. Let’s fight this battle together.
PRAYER REQUESTS:
-For overall health and safety of our squad. While I lost my GoPro on the jump, some teammates got badly bruised and one had to go to the hospital because she landed improperly on her back. That put my loss in perspective. That being said, this hike is going to be quite a lot for most people, so I just ask for prayer that people are sensitive to their bodies and don’t do anything stupid.
-For my future. I am asking God to lead me in making a decision about what to do when I get back from the Race. He has made it abundantly clear that I am supposed to write my book, but I’m trying to decide if I can teach or coach at the same time. I’m feeling led to be a Spanish teacher, and if that is the case then I would need to start looking and applying for jobs in January.
-For writing my book. Pray that I do the research correctly and that God anoints my words, even though it is just the proposal. And if anyone has any tips or knows any publishers, feel free to send the advice my way! I’m ready to learn.
-For my new team. That we would not relax into “getting along” but fight for each other and grow deep with each other.
-For my own health. I found out that I have hemorrhoids, which are still having issues healing. The change in diet and sitting on a boat for five days did me in. Even still, I think the devil attacks my health because it makes me question God. Please pray I lean into my true Healer rather than getting upset or trusting in man or medicine (not that medicine is bad). I also have a cold and just about everyone on the squad has some kind of sickness right now. We had a drastic temperature change in Baños, and with how busy we have been I think our bodies are in shock.
-That we would all be open to how God wants to grow us, no matter how painful it is.
I will keep posting the videos I have made below, as there are still a few left to be uploaded that I have already filmed; there just won’t be any for this month in Ecuador. So here are some since my last blog.
Thank you for your constant support!! Your messages, comments, and texts mean the world to me. I can’t believe we are in month five and only a couple weeks away from Christmas!
Love,
Tera
