As I lay here, in my newly washed and fresh tide-scented sheets, on this cool Monday night, I wonder how different my life will be this time next year. Will I be sleeping in a bed or on concrete or maybe dirt? Will I be in my tent, in a hostel, or perhaps some run down building? Will I have a bathroom just 5 steps away, or will a hike in the middle of the night to some hole in the ground be my normal? Will I have electricity available just an arms’ reach away, or will it be no closer than a 2-hour bus ride into town? In that 11th month, will it feel like July was an eternity ago or like it was just the other day? Did I make a difference in someone’s life? Did I make a difference for the Kingdom?
I imagine this time next year, on my last month of the race, I will be experiencing the same plethora of emotions I am currently experiencing now. With training camp a mere 4 days away, and launch 48 days, confusing just scratches the surface of this ride. Actually, the word chaos comes to mind. Along with excitement, fear, joy, doubt, happiness, concern, peace, stress, anticipation, wonder, sadness, hope, grief, love….you get the point. Excitement, most definitely, is at the forefront of my mind. The months and months of planning, fundraising, gear gathering, and vaccine-getting are finally winding down. All the trusting, hoping and praying are about to pay off. The imagined faces of those I already love a world away are going to become real. Yet the joy, happiness and excitement are expectantly accompanied by their counterparts. When we follow God’s call, He truly does expect a lot. The sacrifices of leaving my everyday life to bring hope across the globe continue to pop up and not always with welcome. I am leaving a place that’s felt the most like home to me since I left my parents’ nest almost 7 years ago, a place I could easily see myself the next few years. I am leaving my kitty, whom I received as a gift 2 Christmases ago, and since has become my constant little companion. I sold most of my belongings, a lot of which still held dear memories of a person, place or time they were given to me. I am leaving behind my boyfriend of 5 years, who I’ve never gone more than 3 weeks without seeing since the day of our first date.
This is not to say I am unhappy about these sacrifices. Yes, they are hard, and yes, I may have had a meltdown or two. 
….but it is so worth it to me. I used to pray for the kind of faith that would give up anything to follow God, and I pray daily for the opportunity to become more like him. I am honored to be going on this journey. And I am honored to have the chance to be used for his glory in this way. There is actually nothing I want more. And so I choose to embrace these emotions as part of the ride, and I am joyful with the changes. I am thankful for the freedom of less, and the undeniable truth that he IS all I need, and he will NEVER leave my side.
I received a text today. A text from a friend and past racer. A fierce follower of Christ who I hadn’t the pleasure of spending time with in several months. After the usual introduction of "how I’m doing" and "what’s life like with training camp just around the corner", she texted me this:
“I have been thinking about and praying for you. Embrace the emotions and know that it is normal. This is a huge decision that you have made. It’s OK to be feeling lots of mixed emotions, and they will get more intense the closer you get to launch. But, God is GOOD. Your decision is GOOD. God has so much in store for you during the next year of your life. You are taking a radical step in faith. And God will meet you where you are EVERY step of the way.”
What a wonderful woman God has put in my life, and how beautifully he used her to speak to me tonight. To remind me that this crazy ride of ups and downs is all part of following Christ. He doesn’t call us to make life easy and smooth sailing. He calls us into the nitty gritty, to live a life in continual surrender to his will. These momentary things are not all there is…and they are definitely not the point. What Christ is doing here is bigger than our homes, and our pets and even our relationships. It is saving lives of those lost in a darkness they cannot overcome alone, and allowing ourselves to be vessels of his love.
A year from now, I probably won’t be in a comfortable bed, with a nice clean toilet just steps away. I probably won’t be anywhere near electricity let alone a nice fan and heater to regulate the temperature to my desired degree of comfort.
But I will be across the world. I will be bringing Christ’s hope and light to the nations. Loving, supportive community will surround me, and I will be in Christ’s protective, unfailing, and unconditionally loving arms. And in any year, what other constant do we really know?
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As a couple hundred of us travel to Georgia for training camp this weekend, I ask that you keep us all in your prayers for safe arrivals and a safe, fun, Godly week that will prepare and fill us for our upcoming journey.
I also would like to update you all on my fundraising endeavors! Thanks to God, I am currently 97% funded, which means I am a mere $500 away from being fully funded by July 1!!! I am so amazed at the ways God has provided for this journey. If you feel lead to help me make this $500 a $0.00, please click here to donate.
Along with the $500 for AIM funding (which includes all travel, food and lodging throughout the year), I am also in need of sponsors for the following items that I am currently struggling to pay out of pocket:
Medications (Malarone, Cipro, Azithromyocin, etc.): $80
Vaccinations: $800
Travel to and from training camp and launch: $400
Travelers Insurance: $300 Sponsored!
If you are interested in donating towards any of these causes please contact me here. Donations to these causes will need to be sent to myself directly instead of AIM.
Again, a huge thanks to all my supporters and prayer warriors out there! I couldn’t be here without you! <3
