I sit in a classroom full of 7th & 8th graders, realizing that I miss potential ministry opportunities every day because I find I become too self-centered in what I’m “supposed” to be teaching these young ‘angels’. After training camp I felt (as well as a few others I’ve talked to afterwards) that my job was insignificant. This morning (after a LONG night) I was tired, going to my ‘insignificant’ job, and was down…until I realized a real important thing…my job is in no way ‘insignificant’. It is my current ministry. Here at the Middle School I have opportunities placed in front of me to demonstrate God’s love in sooooo many ways. Yes, being a public school I may have to watch some of how I show it…but it’s going to be nothing like some of the places we may be like China where jailtime could be served…and we may go there.
Then I thought more about that week in Georgia that many of us spent together. I have somewhat bonded with some of you, and others I feel that I hardly know…still others that I don’t know. There are struggles that I have with some things from training camp, not anything that I am really struggling with, just some things that I feel that I would often just ‘blow off’ and not gain my true feelings for…not develop myself as a better person for. All too often I feel that I can look over something potentially life changing because either (a) I don’t ask the questions, (b) I don’t know the questions to ask, (c) I’m not sure who to ask the questions to, or (d) I don’t wrap my mind around a concept…and leave the people that could help me through a discussion that would bring me to that place that I need to be to understand whatever it is I didn’t quite grasp (if letter ‘d’ made any sense to you, you are awesome, because it made sense as I wrote it but not now…wierd, eh?) Anyway, I also feel that I’m probably not alone with this. Reading some comments/messages/status updates on the amazing stalker network of FaceBook, I have decided that I’m not alone.
Being not alone in this in some way brings me comfort…yet makes me feel distant as well. How can this be? I feel comfort because I’m not alone, I’m not the only one with the small brain…or politically correct…brain challenged? Yet if I don’t take that step towards discussing these things with someone, how can we become closer? (that’s the distant part…if you’ve tracked with me). Anyway, there’s SOOOOOOOOO much going on with my life right now with selling my house, working 2 1/2 jobs, raising support, dealing with family wierdness, attempting to get closer to some friends, selling much of my furniture (ok…my living room is empty now…I sit on my bed to eat because I sold my kitchen table chairs…but not the table…yeah), looking towards January…sometimes I feel overwhelmed…but then I’m not the one who FREAKS about stuff like this, so I’m dealing with things as they come up. It’s a life changing time of life.
Anyway…my whole point here is this…
I feel that it’s time. It’s time to foster the new relationships, and let people know that I’m here for them…and to find out that you’re all here for me. I may not be able to help you move if you live in Canada or Oregon or Kansas or (…) but I can pray, I can send you an encouraging note…I can talk to you on the phone…I can…I can…I can (even if it’s 2 am). But not if I don’t know that it’s what you need right now. I feel that we need to open up to each other, and communicate the needs we all have…whether it’s a prayer need or a physical need that someone near us can help with…or a phone conversation we need to have, or WHATEVER…I just want to make sure you all know that I’m available for you in whatever capacity you may need me in!
