So I was in the drug store with a friend yesterday, stocking up on a year’s worth of feminine products. I didn’t know where the tampons were hiding so when I saw an official looking woman, I went up to her and boldly asked where the tampons were located. She looked at me like I was crazy, and said, “Honey I have no idea.” I quickly realized that she didn’t work there! Oops, embarrassing moment # 1.
Then I was in Ross buying a year’s supply of underwear. I just can’t handle REI underroos and want fun colors in my bootie. I’m in line for the dressing room and the women there turn red when I get to the front, they very politely explain to me that “you are not allowed to try on underwear in the dressing room, but you can take them home, try them on and return them if they don’t work.” At this point a crowd had gathered, men and women are staring at me with rainbow colored underwear in hand holding up the line. I can’t just quietly walk away so Ijoke, loud enough for everyone to hear, “that’s such a bummer I never know if underwear are going to fully cover my lovely, ample ass.” (sorry for those of you who consider ass a swear word)
After purchasing, I’m walking out of the store, with my friend Michelle, my bag filled to the brim with lovely underroos. All ofa sudden I realize that I’ve dropped something! A bright purple pair has decided to fly the coup and has landed precariously on the sidewalk. I laugh, pick them up and laugh some more when I see the expressions on the faces of the two teenage boys who happened to be walking by at the exact right time. It was classic! Moral of the story, never take me out in public!!!
