Obedience

Obedience: Submissiveness to authority; following orders.

This is a word that I have been pondering a lot lately. What exactly does it mean to be obedient? As humans our innate response is to look down upon obedience viewing it negatively, especially when the definition is submissiveness to authority.The truth is, they aren’t negative words. They are actually quite beautiful when we add God into the equation. We aren’t meant to be independent from Him. As Christians we are to depend on God for everything, relying on him as we rely on food, water, and air to sustain us.

I have been struggling with obedience and what it truly means to Christians. After four hours alone with God, I learned that obedience is trusting in Him to give me the necessary strength to carry out the task(s) He has asked of me. This is something I have not been doing. I have not been sincere in my obedience to the Lord. Have I been obedient in following the Lord’s call? Yes. But have I been truly obedient by the definition? No. I have been dragging my feet like a temperamental child saying, “I’ll give you a year of my life, but I am not happy about it.” *insert distasteful tone and hands on hips*

I have let worldly struggles and insecurities of my own get in the way of my obedience to the Lord, but one sticks out the most. I am going to be extremely vulnerable and say that I am terrified of having to raise $16,961 and have doubted the Lord on whether or not He will provide. I honestly am not sure how I can possibly raise that much money. Then it hit me like a brick, of course I can’t! But, God can. I am not supposed to independently raise $16,961. I am supposed to rely, submitting to the Lord my worries and inadequacies, knowing that He will provide and sustain me. Without Him, I can do nothing. But with Him, Oh the things He can do! Our God is the creator of the universe; through him ALL things are possible!

As I looked up Obedience in the Bible, God pointed out one particular man of obedience, Abraham. Abraham had been devoid of a child for years, coming to the conclusion that his wife, Sarah, simply could not bear children. But God promised Abraham a son and a son he was given. Then one day the Lord asked Abraham to do the hardest thing he would probably ever have to do. Sacrifice the most important thing to him; his son. Did Abraham drag his feet and fight the Lord in every way possible? No. Was he distraught and filled with sorrow? I bet. But he did it. He took Isaac to the top of a mountain, tied him to the altar and with knife in hand was ready to sacrifice his beloved son. What an astonishing act of obedience. I have two nephews, who I love more than anything in the world, and the thought of even having to do something like this because the Lord told me to, brings me to my knees. So as a parent, I can’t imagine what Abraham was going through, but he still obeyed. Um what?! That’s insane! But sometimes, most of the time, God calls us to things that don’t make sense or seem at all possible for us to do. Thankfully the story has a happy ending and the Lord instead provides a Ram as a sacrifice. Abraham loved the Lord so incredibly much that he was willing to sacrifice his one and only son without even questioning it. I can’t think of a greater act of obedience. The Lord did not abandon Abraham, He gave Abraham the necessary strength to carry out the task He had asked of Abraham and came to the rescue, providing a Ram.

He too will provide for me. I have nothing to fear or worry about. Whether it be illness, heartbreak, homesickness, inadequacy, or fundraising, He will provide. All I need to do is love Him with everything I have and follow in obedience. Not because I have to, but because absolutely nothing else seems worthy enough. I am not worthy but with God I am enough.

You Have Me by Gungor