“Our God is a God who wants us to be authentic and real. A God who says it’s okay to be hurt inside and struggle, to lean into Him and know He will lift us up in His arms. Our God has called us all to greatness and following that call will change our hearts to align with His.”
It’s January 12th, but barely, because as usual I’m up late. I’m currently unable to fall asleep because I know I have so much to do, and today was well quite unproductive.
I don’t think I am generalizing too much when I say, like most of us women we feel constantly busy and overwhelmed by the demands of life no matter how big or small those demands are. I know I am constantly wrestling with when to find time for everything. The support letters I need to get out pronto, this blog post that I need to write, my quiet time with God that I said I would do today and didn’t, the list goes on and on. Busy isn’t an excuse though, I have always known that, so why do I put off the things closest to my heart? Why is it so challenging for me to be real about where I am at in my walk with Christ and where I am headed?
There I was tossing and turning and (bing, lightbulb) I got it. It is this simple. Those are vulnerable questions. It’s hard to share the realness of life when it’s a mess. I am not one to just pour out my heart and soul, my closest friends can tell you that. It’s more of a teeth pulling game, how ironic that my dad knew me best. What a wonderful dentist and servant of Christ he was.
Right now in my life God is really revealing my heart to me. He has made me very aware that although I have surrendered it to Him, there is a very large portion of it that I have decided that I am suited to take control of…again. However, I know that there can only be one master of my heart to fully live for and serve the Lord. In Ezekiel36:26 it says, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, heart of flesh.” A promise that comes with baptism, but the work God does to change our hearts happens when we allow it. With complete surrender.
I understand complete surrender in a way that has so far proven to be powerful, yet also incredibly painful. The time I felt it most recently and the current reason I struggle to try for complete surrender again, is that the last time I gave of my life completely that also included the surrender of my earthly father to my Heavenly Father. The complete surrender of my life and all the “control” I felt I had, hoping for a miracle resulted in a miracle far from what I was shooting for. I prayed for a miracle assuming God understood that meant I wanted my dad healed, instead we received the miracle of my dad going home to Heaven.
What I am learning right now is that we live in a world of expectations. However, we are not required to be anything for anyone here on Earth. We as Christian woman serve someone much more powerful. Our God is a God who wants us to be authentic and real. A God who says it’s okay to be hurt inside and struggle, to lean into Him and know He will lift us up in His arms. Our God has called us all to greatness and following that call will change our hearts to align with His. And when aligned with His we are told in Psalm37:4 that, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”
The Lord is currently calling me to the World Race. This is an eleven month long mission trip to eleven countries. I am excited about this, while also a tinsy bit fearful. I know that God will be changing my heart and I know that surrender is a part of this. I view this incredible calling as an opportunity to not only show others the love of Christ, but also an opportunity to run into the arms of Christ through obedience over the course of the next year and a half while I prepare and then leave in August.
This God we serve is full of grace, love, and purpose.
Always listen to your heart, allow God to be the only master, and follow it wherever He may call you.
This is a post that I had done for empowerlincoln.wordpress.com
Check their site out! It is amazing!!
