Introduction
Written Dec. 12th, 2020
I’m not sure if many of y’all know, but there were concerns regarding Covid19 on campus. The staff at Adventures in Missions made the tough decision to keep their racers home for the whole month of December.
I have been home for twenty days now and I will be home for an additional twenty-three. Without a job to come back to or school work to do, it leaves me with a lot of time on my hands: a time to reflect over the past three months at Training Camp, a time to reflect on my spiritual and personal growth, and a time to reflect on the ways the Lord has been working.
I am sitting here on my living room couch reading past journal entries of my “diary”.
Two days into Training Camp we were given questions to help us debrief and navigate our thoughts, feelings, and emotions since having left for the Race.
Here are mine: raw, straight from my journal.
Dear Diary
Written Sep. 5th, 2020
– Leaving Home –
The last few days at home were a dream. When my parents weren’t working, and Merrick and Karsyn weren’t at school, we spent as much time together as possible. I went to every volleyball game, ate amazing food, and got to play a few more card games.
When my time wasn’t spent with my family, it was spent hanging out with my friends, or more often than not, buying very last minute items (for the race).
However, when it all came down to it, the hardest part about leaving was not any of the goodbyes. The hardest part was (and still is) being in touch with my own emotions.
– Surrendering –
Lord, I surrender everything to You. I surrender everything. Lord, I give my body to You, my name to You, my soul to You.
I pray You open my eyes and ears to hear and see what You have in store for me, Lord.
I pray when people see me, they see You first Lord.
I pray for patience with everyone in my community.
I pray that You remind me that rejection will happen. Shake it off. Luke 9:5.
– Debrief –
The best part of the race so far is by far the people I have gotten to meet and know. We intentionally signed up for this God. You called all of us to be her. These are very special people.
The toughest part of the race is not being in touch with my own emotions; I don’t know what I’m feeling. Even before the race I didn’t have a clue.
– What’s to Come? –
I’m most excited for the friendships formed, the strengthening of my relationship with and faith in God. In addition, I’m most excited for the overwhelming feeling of joy I experience when I serve Him.
That said, I’m most nervous for how I will react when the enemy starts attacking me. Will my faith in the Lord strengthen or weaken?
I hope at the end of the Race I can look back on this journal entry and see how much I’ve grown: how much I’ve matured as a child of God. Only time will tell.
