Trust.
The word the Lord gave me right before my first experience of a trek. Not just any trek, but a trek up the third highest summit in Guatemala. 13,000 feet to be exact.
I was coming into this adventure pretty blind of what it could (and most certainly did) entail. Full of anticipation. Excited to try something new. I initially was not hesitant. Then came all of the honest remarks from locals- saying they wouldn’t recommend it with the high possibility of freezing temperatures, dense fog, and rain. Now, convinced this hike wouldn’t be easy.
Trust.
The trek up was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve done to date. The first hour and a half was a steep incline of small stones, loose dirt and corn on both sides. The next 5 hours was nothing short of total concentration. Between breaths and a racing heartbeat my 8 squad mates and I encouraged one another, laughed at how out of breath we were, how jello our legs were and simply chose to enjoy the journey.
Trust.
A total of 6 hours and we make it to base camp. We set up and bundle up in all of our thrift store finds (oversized winter coat, sweats, and gloves). I’m sitting on a log by a campfire on Volcano Acetenango. I feel the warmth of the fire at my back, and am staring out across the sky.
Volcano Fuego erupts.
There’s no place I’d rather be.
There’s no place I’d rather be, then here in your love.
Black smoke and lava shoot out of the top. Sitting 12,000 ft above the sea, experiencing something I never could have dreamed of and this thought comes to mind, God I’m amazed by your splendor. I’m in awe of Your wonder.
Trust.
We settled in just in time before the rain began. 9 of us squeeze into a 3 person tent to play cards and have dinner together. We thank God for the day we had; for His protection, guidance, and favor. We ask that tomorrow He keep the rain away, and show us more of Him and His glorious creation at the peak of the volcano.
I trust you.
It poured for hours. I tossed and turned all night. Altitude sickness in full effect. BOOMS and CRACKS every 20 minutes as Volcan de Fuego continues to erupt. The alarm goes off at 3 AM and its time to get up. I peak my head out the tent and can see Fuego’s furry clear as can be.
There’s no place I’d rather be.
There’s no place I’d rather be, then here in your love.
Trust.
I was about to take the first step of the 4 am trek to the peak of this mountain and something just didn’t feel right. In the obscure darkness, I could only see 2 feet in front of me, with no idea of how far we had come or how much farther we had to go. The physical and mental strength this final accent took left only room for the Holy Spirit to work in me. A constant reminder I wasn’t suppose to and couldn’t do this hike alone.
I’ve never known a love like yours.
You’re constantly moving towards me.
Trust.
Ten minutes left and I find myself scaling the side of a mountain at 12,900 ft. I turn my head and am above the clouds. Determined to take the safest most responsible move across a rocky cliff, but feeling like I’ve already crossed my safe risk limit. I felt like I had no control, but I kept moving.
“Daughter I want you to give me all the control. Let me lead you. Let me show you my love. You can’t receive that love unless you let go. You sang these words this morning, you’ve never know a love like mine- and I’m telling you there is so much more of my love to know. Surrender what you think you know. Drown in the wonder of my love.”
I’m at the top. A reward of pure beauty.
I can only stare and smile for so long, but I could stare and smile forever.
A sunrise so eloquent- colors I couldn’t describe even if I wanted to.
Never changing, His love is perfect. Never changing, His wonder never ceases.
“Papa, my heart is an open space for you to come and have your way. I give it all to you. I give you control. I give you fear. I give you the good. I give you the bad. I’m caught up in the wonder of what this will look like. You’re heart and character doesn’t change. Do whatever you want to do. Change whatever you want to change. I want to trust you more than I ever have, now until forever.”
I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven.
I give it all to you God.
Trusting you’ll make something beautiful out of me.
XOXO
Tay
