I don’t remember the last time I was this sad.
Honestly.
These last couple of weeks have been hard. The fact that real life is continuing in Oklahoma has kicked in; the number of mosquito bites on my feet and legs outnumber the days I’ve been on the race and my heart yearns for the comfortablitly of life and relationships at home.
In fact, just a few days ago, I got the opportunity to talk to a friend I haven’t spoken to since leaving America. It only took a “Hi!” for me to start crying.
What gives?
I’m on a trip of a lifetime- a different country, ministry and living situation each month, intense discipleship and numerous opportunities to pour into so many lives.
But this is real life, too.
One day I’m loaded into a pickup truck with 20 other people, excited and ready to go to kids ministry, the next day I’m crying in a Nicaraguan coffee shop.
It happens.
I think a big part of it, for me at least, is that I place such a high value on comfort. Can you relate? If I feel comfortable in a certain place, be it a church, school or doctor’s office, I’ll go back. If I feel comfortable with a certain way of doing things, I will repeat that process again and again. And if I feel comfortable with a person- well, I could tell you their names and the last thing we talked about.
We naturally gravitate to things that bring us comfort.
And I don’t think that is a bad thing.
It truly is a blessing that the Lord allows us to find things and people that bring us comfort and joy, but I think the problem happens when we place what brings us temporary comfort over Who is our comforter.
For me, this has been such a painful lesson to learn.
Let me tell you why.
Some of the things that bring me comfort include-
My friends
My dog
My family
AC
Netflix
Whataburger
And my bed, just to name a few
Not having access to most of these things (RIP 2am trips for a honey butter chicken biscuit) was something I obviously considered beforehand. I knew I would be sacrificing life as I knew it, for a while, for this opportunity, but for the Lord it would all be worth it and it is.
However, what I didn’t realize was how much I rely on these things.
Maybe that sounds a little silly, but let me explain.
When I was up until three in the morning, stressed and overwhelmed, writing a 20 page paper that I had procrastinated on, did I turn to the Lord for comfort?
Maybe.
But more than likely, I drove to McDonalds and bought a Dr. Pepper and some fries and then stared at my phone mindlessly for a little while.
When I had a day when I felt like everything was going wrong and I couldn’t win, did I turn to the Lord?
Sometimes, to be sure.
But I also called my best friend to rant and then we’d go shopping or grab a drink.
When I was emotionally drained and felt confused about a decision I had to make, did I turn to the Lord?
Yes, for a moment.
But then I would lay in my bed, binge Netflix and snuggle my dog.
Again, I want to reinterate, there is nothing inherently wrong with these things.
You can bet money I’ll be hitting up a Whataburger and catching up on all the shows I’ve missed with my friends and forcing my dog to snuggle with me when I get back, but the point is, the Lord wants to comfort us and He’s the best one for the job.
The things the Lord has asked me to give up and to change lately left me desperate for comfort and with none of my normal options available, He was where I turned.
And, guys, He was there. He did comfort me and He is still comforting me every day. All I had to do was give Him the chance.
Furthermore, I have learned so much more about the Lord and what He thinks by turning to Him, rather than to something that numbs or distracts.
So, I want to ask you- Where do you turn for comfort?
Do you stick in your headphones and take a nap?
Do you go out?
Do you play mindless games on your phone?
Do you eat junk food?
I encourage you to consider giving up whatever brings you comfort for two weeks.
Just pick one thing.
Ask the Lord what He thinks you should give up. He’ll tell you.
And I truly believe you will learn so much about yourself and the Lord, even in such a seemingly small thing.
Announcement: I have to raise $1,711 by Novemeber 1st in order to stay on the Race. That’s in TWO WEEKS. Consider giving $24 (for my 24th birthday), $150 or even more. Every bit counts and is being used to bring kingdom all over the world. Thanks for the prayers and support, y’all. It means the world.
