You know what’s crazy? Even if heaven was a comparison game I still wouldnt make it in. Even if I could pick the person to be compared to, I still wouldnt make it.
These are thoughts I have as I sit in the only coffee shop in a red light district of Bangkok. As I watch the street, people continue to file by.
But the ones that catch my eye are the old men, many of them holding hands with small women in little clothing.
I know where they’re going.
I know what they’re going to do.
Prostitution, though not legal in Thailand, accounts for a large portion of tourism here. Men from all over come here to visit these Red Light districts and for one reason.
And I want to be disgusted by these men. I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them to their senses. I want to make them feel a shame that causes them to never do this again. I want to scream at them, “Dont you know what you’re doing? You cant actually pay for what you’re taking.”
And yet,
My heart breaks.
Because God could be saying the same thing to me.
My sin mounts high. It towers to a fearful height- my greed, my anger, my jealousy, my rebellion, my pride, my self-righteousness, my lust and on and on and on.
And God could be disgusted at me.
He could grab me and shake me and scream and put my shame on display for everyone to see.
He could, because He can do anything He pleases. Hes God.
I’m not
But He doesnt.
Instead, I hear a small, quiet whisper.
“Daughter, you dont realize what you’re doing. You can’t afford the price of what you’ve done.”
So He paid it.
He bled and died for MY sin.
MY sin was bad enough to do that- only mine.
Sin does not come on a shelf where each offense comes with a different cost to be paid.
My pride is no less costly than if I paid someone caught in human trafficking for sex- and if you think that’s not true, read Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5.
He says if you’ve hated someone in your heart, you are as guilty as a murderer.
And so I am.
And yet, again.
Jesus whispers to my heart- to my murdeous, lustful heart-
“Daughter, you dont realize what you’re doing. You can’t afford the price of what you’ve done.”
And so He paid.
His red blood flows freely over every sin I’ve committed and over every sin I will commit.
And His red blood flows freely in these districts, as well.
A free gift, yet so costly.
And His cross, His blood- that’s what has the final word- and that doesn’t depend on what part of town you’re standing in.
Have a good Good Friday, friends.
