Dear Exhausted/Scared/Lonely/Confused/Anxious Racer,
I know it’s hard. I know it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know your exact situation but I can imagine. Maybe you feel regretful for leaving behind your family. Maybe all your friends are graduating, getting engaged and having babies and today it just doesn’t make sense to be on the other side of the world cleaning up trash or teaching English. Maybe you are physically sick for the 5th time and your body just feels weaker than ever. Or maybe you just forgot about the calling you once felt so strongly in… That time in your college dorm as all of your friends were applying for jobs and you felt the pull of the Holy Spirit to apply for a crazy journey around the world. Yeah that was, what seems like, forever ago. But you are not alone.
You were chosen. You were asked to come on this journey… to trust, to surrender, to be obedient. And you said yes. First of all, I am proud of you for coming this far. I know times are confusing. You may hear teammates and squad leaders preaching about pressing into the trial and finding strength in the Lord, but all of that seems like just another foreign language. But none of that changes that, at one point, you gave the Lord your “yes.”
I am not going to tell you it will get easier or time will go by faster, because that is probably not true. I just entered into month 9, thinking I finally had a hold of this whole switching continents thing, but I find myself in tears and clinging to my Bible once more. FaceTime and Facebook are great but here is the reality of your situation: No one at home will ever fully understand the journey you’ve been called to. Unfortunately, in difficult moments, these outlets can take away from the current family God has called us to live life with: our teammates! Men and women that the Lord has also called to a difficult journey. And believe it or not, they will probably understand much better than Grandpa Joe or your 16 year old sister. I am not saying don’t talk to family, because they ARE an important part of the journey. Rather, recognize the lesson of dependency that the Lord is teaching you in this time and learn to prioritize the family that is right in front of you.
I want to share truth with you. Truth that has gotten me all the way to Month 9. Truth straight from scripture because in scripture we can rest; it is in our language and we do not have to discern if it is spiritually safe or not. If your Race has been anything like mine, these two points are such beautiful gifts that are meant to be treasured.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2.
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:4-5
And Jesus said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” Mark 16:15
You are not alone. The same God who tugged on your heart to apply, the same God who provided during fundraising, the same God who got you through training camp… is the same God who walks with you now. The same God who holds you as you feel lonely, who weeps when you weep, who gives you strength to finish another day of ministry, is the same God who delivered justice upon His own son to die for you. You are worth the death of a Savior. You are called according to His purpose. And He wakes you up every morning, not to be a missionary in Thailand or Ethiopia (or wherever you may be), but to go on a journey with Him.
So keep pressing in. Take it day by day, asking the Lord for His strength. When you choose to lay down your pride and desires, He will give you abundant blessings and this year will start to be one of the greatest gifts. When I launched in October of 2017, I wouldn’t admit this then, but I didn’t believe any of this. But the Lord knows what I need and He not only provided, He gave abundantly! This year has been nothing short of painful and confusing, but it has been an intimate journey with Jesus that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I pray the same for you. Keep going! You were worth it. This journey is worth it. Ask the Lord to remind you who He is and who you are in Him. Day by day, you will see His purposes revealed.
He is a good God and He loves to give good gifts to His obedient children.
Sincerely,
Tired, smiling and thriving
