Expectations. I love when Jesus squashes my expectations. I have learned to hold all things in life with a very loose grip. This open-hand gesture allows my heart to be softened for change and draws me closer to the Lord, in deeper dependence on Him. Unfortunately, this lesson has yet to take complete hold of my heart. This month, Jesus squashed my expectations.
At the start of this month, I expected to have effortless communication and unity with my team. I expected to lay my head somewhere clean and comfortable. I expected to have confidence in ministry. All of these, and so much more, were expectations that, by the grace of Jesus, were squashed. Each expectation, now a smear of guts and green goo on the floor, taught me more about myself and, most importantly, my King. There was one ruined expectation in particular that I am continuing to process as I write this and and continuing to thank the Lord for. This month’s Kingdom Hands.
As I started this journey, I imagined and expected to be looking for and spending time with someone that was older in age, wiser, more experienced, and well-established with the ministry we would be serving. Nope. I prayed many times as I contemplated which person to spotlight. Our host, Prach, was amazing. A pig farmer that loves Jesus and has dedicated his life to teaching and sheparding a very small but needy community. But, as I prayed about using him for this, I felt the Lord tugging my heart in a totally different direction. This month, I would be learning from 25 ten-year-olds that cannot even speak my language, or say my name. After two week’s spent teaching English, tears as Jesus broke my heart for them and an open-handed attitude, I am proud and honored to introduce to you this month’s Kingdom Hands: My 6th grade English class.
From day one, these kids had a grip on my heart. Now, I know you’ve probably read that statement in a mission trip post before, but I am so serious when I say, I will never forget those boys and girls. The first day I met them, I was very sick. Battling a fever and digestion issues, I walked into class alone and exhausted but was refreshed by the sweet smiles and eager hearts of each individual student. I spent time praying and preparing for the short hour I had with them every day, wishing for more. In that hour, we learned the English alphabet, along with the sounds of each letter and a word that starts with the letter, we learned common phrases, greetings and even how to write our names in English! Each class time was spent learning a new language, but also learning how to say the name of Jesus, spend time in prayer, sing praises to him and memorize scripture. Y’all, this rocked my world.
It was overwhelming to be in a country that finds false truth in idols and temples. I often felt like the work I was doing was impossible. Things really weighed heavy on me. Every day I would walk past a Buddha statue, with offerings placed around it, and enter a classroom where I was to teach them about Jesus in a totally different language than mine. Humility. Trust. Prayer. One of my daily devotionals reminded me of the story of the Tower of Babel. A story that so clearly shows God’s righteous hand in demanding we lean on him for everything. So, I walked past that Buddha statue, I acknowledged the battle I was a part of and I asked the Holy Spirit to intervene. And He did. He always does.
He intervened in every heart in that classroom, especially mine. While I felt useless and impossible, He provided a classroom full of children that wanted to be known, loved and taught. Kids that were hungry for attention and eager to speak with me. Something as simple as me knowing and saying their names, made them smile and jump with such beautiful joy! I soon realized, I was learning just as much, if not more, from them.
Jesus is so eager for us to say His name, to spend time giving Him attention and making the bold decision to walk past idols for Him. No matter our state, sick and sinful or joyful and excited, He desires our attention and He always gives us His. As we pursue the unnatural journey of focusing solely on Him, He blesses us with joy everlasting. This is what my sixth grade class did for me each day of this month. They showed me the sweet and simple love of Jesus.
I have been blessed to walk life with many beautifully gifted teachers. In fact, my community at home is full of them. At the beginning of this month, I desired conversation with those friends more than ever. I wanted to learn about classroom management, how to make the best use of my hour long class and some specific tools to teach scripture in another language. But due to no WiFi this month, I was unable to seek out their input. Which left me with a blank notebook, an eager heart and my Bible. So I prayed and the Lord provided. He used 25 little hands to show me His power in a broken world. He revealed to me the intentionally of His character. And He showed me love. I am so thankful for the difficult month I had here. I am so blessed to of spent time learning to be a teacher. And I am truly honored to of met and be loved by those 25 students.
As you walk in faith, may you grasp the opportunities that scare you, grip the challenges, have open hands for the Lord to move and depend on Him for everything. There is no way these students would have seen any success in my class if it wasn’t for the movement of the Holy Spirit. Neither of us spoke a lick of each other’s languages and I have no teaching experience, but God moved in ways I cannot explain. On our last day together, they performed the song “Jesus Loves Me” and recited the scripture verse Acts 16:31 for the rest of the school (270 children, all younger) and all of the teachers. It was beautiful and it was humbling, because I can take no credit. It is overwhelming when He squashes our expectaions, because He always gives us more: More joy, more fun, more love and more life. We have nothing left to ask for. As our fourth month ends, I find myself in tears thinking about God’s faithfulness and character. What a blessing it is to meet hands all over the world that take part in building His kingdom and showing me His character and love.
