Even as a missionary, we are human and comparison is a natural reaction of the flesh.
I was sitting in Thursday night’s church service struggling with this.
We had preached, taught English, led worship, dramas, dancing and parades but I was struggling to see specifically how God was using ME.
Discouraging thoughts entered my mind as Satan tried filling my head with lies.
Satan told me:
I am not good enough to be here.
I have never been on an over seas mission trip, all my teammates have.
I only preached for 5 minutes this week, my teammates gave full sermons.
I haven’t had as meaningful conversations as everyone else.
I am not as equipped as everyone else here.
I have never gone to school to study the Bible so I know less about God.
I don’t know how to live in the spirit.
Satan was trying to attack me by making me think my identity is in being a missionary.
However, God had different thoughts for me. He saw me struggling and filled my heart with His truths.
As I sat struggling with insecurities, this is what God said to me.
“You can’t see it yet but I am using you. How many times have I used you without you knowing it, until I revealed it to you in my timing. Hang in there daughter, you are precious and valuable to me. Don’t stop asking me to use you and to speak to you. You carry my peace and joy inside of you that others don’t have. I have given you confidence and a boldness that shines for my glory. I don’t have you front and center right now because I know you. I know you don’t like being the center of attention. Enjoy this time because I know you and want to bless you. Open your eyes. I am using you.”
God also reminded me of 1 Corinthians 12:4-27, talking about how we are the body and all have different spiritual gifts and talents. No one should think they are any greater or less than anyone else because we all work together.
“If the ear should say, ‘because I am not a eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?”
As usual, the service ended with our host/pastor’s wife coming on stage to give some final words.
As she spoke in Spanish even we could understand that she was pointing out to the congregation that my team and I are young and have never preached in America, yet here we are traveling the world preaching Jesus’ name in front of their church.
She asked Abby, “have you preached in America?” Abby responded, “no.”
She then looked at me and asked me a similar question, “Taylor have you preached before coming here?” I responded, “no.” She then asked, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CHURCH, “When are you going to preach here for us?”
My mind was blown!
Within 30 minutes I had gone from feeling insecure, to hearing God speak peace, encouragement and identity to me, to witnessing Him answer my prayer right in front of my eyes.
Y’all, God is so good!
He hears us even in our times of insecurity.
He never fails to show up and show off.
He wants to use each and everyone of us in His own special way, with the talents and gifts He specifically gave to us.
WE ARE THE BODY & WE ARE ALL IMPORTANT!
