I type that title as I lay in my bed barely able to get up. Everything that could have gone wrong since committing to the World Race has. I’m in pain. I feel so unworthy. Stupid. Defeated.
I’m not going to do it.
I imagine Satan staring at me with a nasty smirk as I wrestle through these thoughts and feelings. He so badly wants me to fail, and is excited to see me potentially not get back up. He’s throwing things at me left and right that suck. They suck big time.
I won’t let him win.
I often forget that we are fighting a constant battle, and it is so much bigger than our current circumstances. Ephesians 6 has been reminding me just how real that is, but also how powerful God is. The resources that we have when we actually walk in His Spirit are incomparable. Satan doesn’t stand a chance.
“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:10-12.
It is imperative to step outside of the people or events that are hurting us and realize that the devil takes hold sometimes. God only allows him to tempt us so much, and through the trouble we’re called to be refined. We’re not supposed to know why, but instead we ask what. What are you trying to teach us through this crap experience, God? And, we’re going to be okay because it’s Jesus. Even if we don’t get the outcome we want or it lasts far too long, we still have Him and He. Is. ENOUGH.
So, please try to stop me, Satan. I’m doing the World Race. I’m only growing stronger and my heart doesn’t belong to you.
