Man, I hope I don’t go 12 rounds with training camp. I’m giggling because ya never know, right??
Last year around this time, I spent 10 days in Gainesville, Georgia for training camp for the World Race. It’s really an incredible time to meet your squad and others launching with you, learn a ton about God and yourself, and be tested in multiple different areas to make sure the Race is indeed for you.
Last year I entered training camp having thought I knew everything. I sat through sessions thinking, “Is this really for me?” I’d learned a ton about God’s character, participated in a healing conference, and basically lived out the Gospel every day working at Shelterwood. I really questioned God as to why the World Race was for me when it seemed like my training wheels were being put back on when I was riding a two-wheeler with no hands!
Last year after my pride was kicked down, I got asked to lead a team. Hahaha. Boy, was I humbled. Of course, I’d be asked to lead if I’d gone through these things before, because I was supposed to help others walk through them! Derp, derp, derp.
This year after team leading, I was a raised-up squad leader – continuing to be challenged by God to challenge and encourage others. This cycle has continued with getting to alumni squad lead for a new squad of January World Racers. Whoop!
This year I chose to go back to training camp. Yah, ya read that right. My alumni squad leaders were profound in my support, growth, and view of relationships at the beginning of my Race, but they didn’t get to come to my training camp last year.
This year I wanted to create relationships with my new squad early on and pour any ounce of encouragement and challenges into them. I wanted them to know how much they’re loved and sought after, and how big of an impact they’re already making.
This year at training camp, I went in pretty unhealthy. I had a lot of questions for and about God which frustrated me all. The. Time. I wasn’t getting filled up in any sort of way, and honestly, my circumstances in life have sucked as well. In experiencing training camp last year, I was hopeful that I could still learn through the messages and incredible people there. What a humbling experience to go back to training camp as a leader and be in a worse place than I was the year before without a role. Hahaha.
This year, I realized that didn’t matter. Part of being in leadership is being transparent and vulnerable with your peeps. What example does it set to always be right, okay, and put together? Not a realistic one. I struggled my way through the first few days of training camp, annoyed with some of the messages and still having doubts towards and questions for God.
This year, I’ve been frustrated with feeling that God is distant. I had to realize God is not a feeling; He’s so much more, and a relationship with Him is about obedience. Yuck. If God doesn’t feel close, is it worth a relationship with Him?!
This year at training camp, I learned how selfish minded I’ve been. I let my circumstances define my identity, and since my identity was in God, I thought He was to blame. I got hit with a one-liner during a message one night, and it went something like this: “The first thing I ask someone when they tell me God is distant is, who do you have unforgiveness against?”
THAT WAS A STAB STRAIGHT TO THE HEART. I had put a wall up between God and I when I put up a wall between me and the people that were part of my sucky circumstances. He forgives me by committing the utmost sacrifice of himself and I can’t forgive people who hurt me when they’ve been hurt before too? MAN that was humbling.
This year at training camp I asked God if He was in those dope sunsets. “God, are you even in that sunset, or is that just the way the light from the sun reflects off the clouds?” It hit me so hard. IT IS A CHOICE TO BELIEVE GOD IS IN THE SUNSET! It is not about feeling God or hearing God or even believing in God; it’s about choosing God. He will never be just a feeling, and when my circumstances suck, He can still be the constant and the good. It’s a choice.
This year at training camp I chose to forgive my people, I chose to get out of a poopy mindset, I chose to take ownership, and I chose God.
