ha! joke!
it’s been awhile, just thought I’d let whoever still reads these things that I’m still alive.
I’ve been living in a mountain village in the Philippines for the last two months and time on the race is fleeting, I have exactly one month left. Mixed feelings. Anyways..
I’m going to fill you in on some things God is doing inside the messy chaos of a human that I am.
Stillness.
Even if the earth gives way and the mountains rage into the heart of the see I will be still and know that he is God. Even when I sit in a bar and look into the eyes of the mortified nineteen year old girl being auctioned off to a man triple her age. I will be still and know that He loves justice and that he doesn’t stray from his character.
I’m learning to set my eyes on who he says he is and let them rest there. And in that resting place he’s bringing me deep joy and stirring new wine out of me. In the process of dying to my humanity and allowing myself to feel and experience my lack, I’m being made new. As death is working inside me so is life. it’s painful and confusing and sometimes I throw in the towel. But then the next morning I wake up and watch the sunrise and I hold on tight because something inside me can’t let go.
If you’re holding on and losing grip don’t let go. Life is coming. I mean if we don’t know the weight of death how will we Know the freedom of life. Just hold on, he’s in the waiting.
This wasn’t at all what I was going to write about but I guess the spirit had something else in mind.
