My God is not a God that is bound by our grasp of time. He is bigger and infinite and that’s something our imperfect, finite brains cannot fathom. But He loves us so much that He stoops down to put together events of perfect timing (not coincidences…I don’t believe those exist) in order for us to see His greatness. Well, He just did something that I don’t think I can adequately put words to but I’m going to try…
Four years ago, I took a mission trip to Haiti. It was right after the 7.0 magnitude earthquake and though it had been 5 months since the quake, the city of Port au Prince was still in shambles (from the pictures I’ve seen and stories I’ve heard, the city is still in devastation from it). So in May 2010, I decided to go on a mission trip to Croix-des-Bouquets, Haiti, through Missouri Baptist University for one week.
While I was there, God showed Himself through the beauty of the joyful people and the selflessness of the community we lived in. It was life-changing! On one of the last nights, we were asked to write a letter to God. The staff would keep it until they felt it was time to mail it back to us as a reminder of what God did in Haiti.
Fast forward 4 years and I’ve completely forgotten about that letter. I’m preparing for my year-long World Race trip to 11 countries (Haiti included!!) by sending support letters and making an online registry for gear and I randomly receive a letter. I’ve since moved to a different address than the one I wrote on the letter 4 years ago, but it found me. In God’s perfect plan, that letter found me at the perfect time.
I want to share this letter with you. This was my heart 4 years ago and this is still my heart now. I have not added or taken away anything from the letter. Here it is…
Dear Father,
When you first told me to come here to Haiti, I had no idea why, but I followed you. The weeks before we left, I didn’t feel spiritually prepared, but when I first saw the church service on Sunday as well as the morning prayer times, I felt your presence. It felt like home. For months, I’ve prayed for you to “break my heart for what breaks yours.” I believe you had a plan when that earthquake hit – a plan for me – to break me to the point where all I can do is weep and love the people. This has been a difficult week – spiritually. When you broke me, I felt completely inadequate and little. I didn’t feel worthy and I felt completely drained. I realized that just staying here for one week isn’t enough. James 2:25-17 says, “If a brother is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the thing needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it doesn’t have works, is dead.” I might be getting it wrong, but they need so much – physically and spiritually – I just want to help – to serve you. I really think you want me to be a part of missions – please prepare me. All I want to do is serve you, and Lord, please don’t EVER let me forget what you’ve spoken to me and how you’ve changed my perspective on everything. You are. There are no words to describe your ways or your character. Even after an eternity with you, I will NEVER completely understand you. Thank you.
Yours,
Taylor
It is so humbling, encouraging, inspiring, jaw-dropping to have been able to read a letter I wrote and forgot about 4 years ago, and for it to find me again at a time when I am preparing to live my dream of serving others overseas. I wanted to share this moment of Divine providence with you because I’m too blown away and overwhelmed to keep it inside.
My God…Our God is so so good! All the time He’s good. It’s so true and I’m so thankful for it!
Please consider supporting me prayerfully and financially. This mission will not be possible without support from others.
You can partner with me financially by clicking on the “Support Me” tab, which will take you to the website with giving information. You can also help prepare me for this journey by helping to purchase items off my registry at: http://www.myregistry.com/wishlist/Taylor-Duggan-Fenton-MO/715898.
