I’m leaving San Ramon, Costa Rica tomorrow morning, the 27th, and no part of me wants to go. This is the first goodbye that has been really difficult. I enjoyed the other months and connected with people in the Dominican Republic and Haiti, but God has blessed me with some amazing relationships in Costa Rica and I don’t yet understand why He put these incredible people in my life. My heart hurts thinking about not seeing my new friends again.
It’s not just the work that my team has accomplished that makes me want to stay. It’s the relationships that leave the impact. Yeah, Reckless Warriors have left their mark on Faithful Servant Missions literally with all the painting we’ve done. But San Ramon, Costa Rica has left its mark on me. Its beautiful buildings, big hills, amazing pan (bread) and coffee, quaint park and town, and feel of community. F.S.M. has left its mark on me too. The many ministries that they facilitate – women’s sewing, middle school girls volleyball, tutoring, women’s Bible study, tween and teen groups, men’s Bible study, and altogether being a safe place for the kids in the area – I don’t want to leave. I love each of these ministries (I never attended men’s ministry though) and each of the people I have met while here. I see God working in these ministries and see Him using all of these people to further His Kingdom. I don’t want to leave.
I will miss the kids yelling at me, “Gringa,” to push them on the swing. I will miss teaching the middle school girls with my broken Spanish how to serve the volleyball over the net. I will miss those same girls trying to talk to me in Spanish and when I say, “No entiendo,” they repeat it louder like I can’t hear. I will miss holding Yeikel’s papellito and galletas as I push him on the swing. I will miss seeing Yeicol on the playground and catching him as he runs and jumps into my arms. I will miss Mario acting like he is going to cut my hair because I threatened to put makeup on him. I will miss teaching Damaris English. I will miss telling the women in the sewing ministry that God loves them EXACTLY as they are. I will miss hanging out in the evenings and weekends with my team and Jafeth. I will miss Andres and Tito at Triskell Tattoo Studio where we spent 3 of our evenings. I will miss exploring the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen with the most welcoming community I’ve ever been a part of.
This month has not been easy though. God shows you a lot when you live in community. My team is getting more comfortable with each other, which means that conflict can occur and they can see you at your worst. I have to fight myself to ensure I have one-on-one time with God instead of getting a few more minutes of sleep or internet time. I have to make myself do things I don’t want to do. I have to live through the days of having unexplained diarrhea and nausea. I have to put aside my selfishness and allow my teammates to do the ministry that I am passionate about while I do a ministry that I dislike.
The reality of the World Race has hit me. It’s tough. You go to 11 different countries and live in 11 communities, share life and show the love of Christ to countless people. You do this with the knowledge that you’re leaving in a month and unsure of if the Lord is calling you back there or not. Included in that is living with your team of 6 or 7 and constantly being with them, but knowing in the back of your mind that in a few months, your team might change again. The World Race is not easy and that hit me hard this month.
It’s tough. It’s the challenge that I signed up for. It’s exactly what I need.
God is bigger than all of the difficulties, sadness, and goodbyes and He holds my heart. He’s breaking off a piece and leaving it in Costa Rica.
¡Pura Vida!
