I had been sitting with Beyonce for about an hour. We met her our first night here. Bright, beautiful, lovable lady boy named Beyonce. We hung out with her every time we walked into the bars. We had developed a great relationship with her.
As soon as we walked in, my eyes searched for Lo. I saw her a few nights earlier, sitting with a man. But I didn’t see her tonight. I sat where I could still see her bar, keeping an eye on it to know if she showed up to work. I didn’t go up to the bar mom to ask if she was working; I didn’t want to get her into trouble. So I waited…
I tried to keep myself in conversation with Beyonce. It was hard but all I could think about was Lo and sharing the good news of my God’s love for her. I hadn’t even spoken the name of Jesus yet and she needed to know who this man is that has changed my life and can change hers too. Her life depended on it.
I waited…
And waited…
But then I saw her! Long, black hair flowing. Navy blue, flowery sundress on with little wedge heels. Bright, genuine smile and innocent eyes. She has to be in her late 40’s, maybe 50’s.
I kept my eye on the bar, praying for the courage to walk over. My mind went to the Thai Bible I had in my purse. A church had donated several Thai New Testaments to my team on a random encounter with them in Bangkok. I had carried this Bible in my bag for weeks, not knowing who I was supposed to give it to. And here she was.
“God grant me the courage”
I got up and walked over to that bar, said hello to Lo, and sat down in a seat near her. I offered her a seat and asked for a beer and if she wanted anything to drink. She was so surprised.
Me, wanting to make sure I was completely open with my intentions, assured her I just wanted to talk, as friends.
She didn’t know what to talk about, she said. I assured her again that we could just talk about whatever friends talked about.
So we had simple conversations about her children, work, if she was happy, if the girls in the bar were happy, about me leaving on Tuesday, her daughter who worked in that same bar, etc.
And then, I asked if she read books. She said she does sometimes. “Well good, because I have a book for you to read. It’s about that God we talked about last week.”
She still thought it was so “cool” that God forgot your sins when you asked for forgiveness. But she hadn’t talked to Him, she told me.
But I was about to give her the Bible. Even more, I was about to share the story of Jesus with her.
And then he showed up…
A man, Victor, wanted to have a drink with my friend, On. Victor potentially wanted to buy MY FRIEND.
It’s a whole lot different when darkness stares you in the face and your sweet friend is caught in it too.
I wanted to scream! “NO!!! YOU CAN’T HAVE HER!! SHE IS WORTH MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER PAY!! SHE IS LOVED BY ONE THAT DIED FOR HER TO KNOW HIM. HE DID THE SAME FOR YOU!! DON’T LISTEN TO THE LIES THAT YOU NEED THIS TO FEEL LOVED AND ACCEPTED! CANT YOU SEE THAT YOU ALREADY ARE LOVED BY THE VERY ONE THAT FORMED THE INTRICACIES OF YOUR MIND AND HEART!!”
All I could do was pray. All I could do was try to see him through the eyes of Love.
He sat next to me. I’m praying, he’s drinking, and we start talking about his job. He’s a University professor that comes to Thailand to teach every few months for a few weeks. He teaches anthropology, sociology, and geography. He travels to Malaysia a lot and is from the UK where he also teaches.
He asked what I was doing here; I told him I was a missionary. He was very surprised but asked more. I told him about the World Race and how each month we have a different mission and this month we were going to find new potential partners for future trips. And that my being in the bars was not with a formal ministry but was just going to talk to people and share the love of Christ with them. He seemed really surprised and was intently listening.
He asked what I was drinking. I replied “Leo” (a Thai beer) and to my surprise, he laughed and asked, “You’re a missionary who drinks?”
I said, laughing, “Yeah, I’m a missionary who drinks.” He was pleasantly surprised by that because of missionaries he had met in the past were really against that.
Back and forth Lo came and went. Seating people, writing bills. And then she would come back and sip her 2 drinks (me and Victor both bought her one). About 30 minutes after Victor arrived, his friend arrived. This guy was also from the UK and had married a Thai woman, lived in Thailand, was also a professor, and spent 12 years learning Thai. I tried my best to engage them and just talk real with them. I didn’t want them to think Christians were the ones in history books and the media that were uptight, unloving and judgmental
Still sitting, hoping Lo would come back and sit with me. Victor and his friend were talking and I was just waiting. Never felt awkward; just felt a fire under my butt to give her God’s word. Abba wanted her to have it and I didn’t want anything to come between her getting to read it.
Earlier, soon after Victor walked up, I heard God say, “Let my Word speak for itself. Let ME tell her the story of my Son.” Not every instance is that way. I am a firm believer in sharing the name of Jesus and letting God do the rest, but in this instance, He wanted to do it all. He wanted me just to give her that Bible.
What the enemy intended for evil, the Lord used for good. Satan meant for Victor to discourage me and keep me from sharing God’s love with her, but God wouldn’t let him get away with that. God intended Lo to still know His love for her, even if that meant reading about it in His word.
His word will not come back void.
So I got up, walked to the bar counter that Lo was standing behind, writing out bills. I slid the Bible to her and said, “Read it. Please read it. I promise you- its so so good. Just read it.” She smiled and took it.
I told her that I was leaving for Malaysia in a few days and probably wouldn’t be back. I thanked her for spending time talking to me.
She smiled and I walked away, still praying that God would finish the story for me.
I shook hands with Victor and his friend, smiled, truly wished them well, and walked toward my team, waiting at the lady boy bar.
It sucks because neither of those men are terrible people. They seemed very kind and genuine. They also were lost, but they weren’t people that I could hate.
They were people that I actually really enjoyed talking to. Yeah, I knew the truth in the back of my mind, but for some reason, something in me kept that in the back so that I could love them through that conversation. I only hope God used it for something.
I still can’t fully pinpoint all my emotions:
Heartbroken that I can’t see her again, mad that she is still working in that bar, anxious for her to read the story of Jesus, disappointed that I couldn’t have more “meaningful” conversations with her, thankful for all the ways God intervened, love for all 3 of the people that I spent time with that night, laughing at the ways that I blocked Victor in pursuing Lo and how he blocked me from sharing the name of Jesus with her. Oh the way God works.
I still have so many other thoughts that I truly can’t make sense of, but I’m holding on to the hope that my Abba will one day be called that same name by my beautiful friend, Lo. Please pray for her that she will know for herself the true love of her Father. And please pray for Victor and his friend that they will know it too and they will see love in an entirely new way. Pray that everyone we come in contact with will feel truly accepted and loved for who they are because that’s how God sees us all.
