I’ve been debating on writing a final blog on my World Race blog for awhile.. 6 months actually. And today when I went to login my password kept saying it was wrong, so I hit the “forgot password” button and they sent me an email.
“Your Pwd: DROPPED” is what the email said.
At first, I was pretty upset, but then I realized, that the word “dropped” was exactly the word to describe my last 6 months.
My last blog I wrote on here, was about the best dollar I ever spent, and it described how God gave me exactly what I needed at the time. Two days later, after I wrote that blog I went home, I chose to leave the World Race.
At the time, and under the circumstances, that was the best choice I could make in my anxious mind. And I went home knowing, that this decision, was going to be a decision I had to choose to make the right one ever day.
So here’s to the racers that go home early, for whatever reason that may be. These next couple months are going to be hard, but wake up every day making it your decision, making it the right decision.
The first 24 hours, you’ll be on planes, and you’ll laugh with excitement because you get to see your family and friends, and than you’ll cry because you’ll be leaving your family.
And then you’ll get home and you’ll just be mad. You’ll be mad because leadership will reach out to you maybe once or twice but than thats it, they have the rest of the squad to worry about after all. You’ll be mad because no one at home will understand. You’ll be mad because you will feel like you can’t talk to anyone on the squad, because they are busy, or they may honestly be mad at you too.
The next steps for you, are up to you. You’ll feel alone, you have no Project Search Light to go to, you’ll no longer have feedback or C&C’s, you’ll feel dropped.
So my advice to you, be mad, be hurt, be upset but than move forward. God’s plans was a 7 month mission trip for you, or 3 month trip, however long it was, but now He’s got something better for you.
Sometimes I still do feel like the World Race just dropped me, but because of that I also dropped a lot of my anxiety, I dropped my fear about reading more into God, I dropped my fear about choosing to love.
I dropped the “traditional views” of God, and learned more about His will for me.
In the 6 months I’ve been home, I’ve grown so much more than I think I could have on the race being stuck in my mental state that I was. My anxiety was crippling and now I know how to handle it. My love for God is more personal because when I do spend time with Him, it doesn’t feel forced because I am on a mission trip. I have a wonderful job that I wouldn’t have gotten if I did not leave early.
I’m not happy all the time, I have plenty of things to work on, but I am home.
The next couple months being home will be tough, you will feel alone, but you are strong enough to make this decision the right decision every day.
Never forget that you still are part of your squad (Third Gen Y-squad for me), even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you’re kicked out of the facebook group, when your blog is no longer linked to your squads and when you no longer get to go to Project Search Light. That squad is your family, and your true friends on the squad will love you even when you’re home.
And never forget all the lessons you learned while being on the World Race and the people you’ve met and impacted.
I’m praying for you racers, even when you feel dropped.
