So this week has been…different. In lieu of the sea urchin incident, I have had limited mobility and can’t really walk. Its been 5 days and I still have about 24 spines in the bottom of my foot, needing to come out. Thankfully i have these awesome teammates who like to dig in my foot and try to pull the little suckers out (shout out to Tay!)
But, being honest, this week has been difficult. I was fighting negativity a lot, and on Tuesday I was actually in a pretty awful mood. I just wanted to be able to walk! I want to be able to shower by myself, walk to the store, exercise if I want to, get my own food, etc. I felt like I wasn’t able to be apart of as much, like I was missing out on a lot. I started trying to think of the positives, and it helped some. Like the fact that I have such a loving and compassionate community around me, and that I have a lot of my needs provided for. i really am beyond thankful for my awesome squad.
So yesterday. One of my teammates, Jhacki, asked me if she could pray for my foot. While she was praying, she asked the Lord to teach me anything that He may be wanting to show me, that I would know if He’s trying to teach me something. I definitely noticed this, but kept going with my lesson plans. A little while later, my squad leader Ryan came up to me and asked if he could pray for me. He ALSO asked the Lord to show me if He was trying to teach me something through this. At this point, I realized there must be something to this. After he prayed, he told me he felt like the Lord does want to heal me, but He also is wanting to teach me something. He encouraged me to seek God and see what He would tell me. So, I got in my hammock for some quiet time.
He showed me a few things.
First, I saw that I need to learn to trust Him more. To walk by faith more. To slow down. To ask Him first.
I try to stay busy all the time, and I’m always distracting myself with all kinds of things. He told me I need to slow down, have alone time, that I don’t always have to feel like I need to be apart of everything.
He told me to stop trying so hard and to just be.
Just be.
He showed me that I need to rely on Him more. I really rely on myself way too much, and this week has been hard for me, having to rely on others. But in having to rely on others, He’s teaching me to stop relying on myself all the time. This has been very humbling for me. I’m so thankful for the experience, this lesson.
Now for the 20 something more spines to work their way out of my foot. 🙂
