I survived my first week on the race!
My ministry this week was helping make curriculum to teach English to the local kids here in Lajas. If I’m being totally honest, I was greatly disappointed. That was the last thing I wanted to do during my first week here. But the Lord reminded me that he works in the little things and on Friday when we had English camp and all the adorable little children came through the gate to learn it was all suddenly worth it. To see their beautiful smiles and eager eyes. It wasn’t what I expected week one here. But I did learn to look for God in the seemingly small things.
On a very honest note, This trip is going to be so much harder than I ever expected. By day 2 I was ready to pack my bags and head home. I miss my family, friends, church, and comfort. I was feeling inadequate and annoyed. Wondering why God called me to this. Feeling unimportant and unneeded. I came to a place where I was totally ready to give up. Go back to my life back home. I was serving God there, ministering and making disciples. So why the heck did God call me to give up my whole life to basically do the very same things in another country? I honestly can’t answer that question yet. I can say however that God is my comforter and my peace. I don’t know why exactly I’m here. Why I had to leave my home. But I know I did it because God asked me to and I want to walk in obedience. I packed my bags and headed into the crazy unknown. Not for my sake. Trust me, I would never do this for myself. If I remained in a mindset of selfishness and comfort I would have gone home day 2. But I’m doing this to find God. I feel a greater need to seek jesus. I also have a deeper desire for Christ. Fewer distractions. No internet, texting, warm bed. I have chosen to put myself in a place where there is no other option than to spend time with jesus. I feel the need for jesus more than I ever have before. I’m not saying you have to move to another country to experience jesus. I’m just saying that when I left the states, I got rid of all distractions and made space for jesus to completely take over. Pushed everything aside and opened up to the idea of more of God. Nothing is holding me back from diving in and being 100% in love with Christ.
It’s been so hard to leave behind everything I have known. To give up comfort and privacy. But I’m trusting that it will all be worth it. God doesn’t say life will be easy but he promises he will help us through it.
I’m looking forward to this next week and what God will do as I seek him more and more.
