I’m experiencing so many different emotions right now.
I am excited beyond words! Especially since I met my first goal, as my supplies come in and I start to feel more prepared. Is this real life? Am I seriously about to embark on the most exciting adventure ever?
I am also terrified. I have never done anything like this before, 11 months out of the country, away from home and comfort.
What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m not ready for this? Physically, mentally and spiritually. I do not think any amount of preparation can truly prepare me for what is ahead.
I am heartbroken over the fact that I am leaving behind everyone that I love. I am scared of being replaced and forgotten. 11 months is a long time.
I’m sad that I’m going to miss so much while I’m gone. So many things will change, so much will happen and I am going tom miss all of it. My little brother is graduating High school, that’s kind of a big deal.
Is it too late to back out? Can I just stay and serve Jesus right here where I’m comfortable?
Why me? I know several people who have a heart for missions, and would love to have an opportunity like this. I am sure someone else could do much better.
How will I raise another $14,000? What if I don’t get the rest of the money? That’s an overwhelming amount.
Everyone thinks I am crazy! Who leaves everything they have ever known to live out of a backpack for 11 months in another country?
What if i can’t handle this? What if I fall apart? What if I screw up?
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
(Jeremiah 29:11)
It is going to be scary, and very hard, and I am definitely going to mess up. But that’s ok because God is in control. I do not have to worry, I just have to trust that His grace is enough and as long as I am willing and obedient, He will use me.
I know that I am called to walk by faith and go on this trip. God will take care of the rest. I am by no means good enough or capable, but God’s grace and my obedience allows Christ to use my imperfection for his glory!
I cannot wait to be used by God! I am excited to see him shine through me!
