To my squad, family, and friends,
I don’t know how to start this, honestly this feels kinda silly. I am writing this to inform you that I, Taylor Mueller, will be leaving the race on April 17th to fly home. I know I know it’s only a month before our great life adventure is over. So you are probably thinking that’s silly she should stick it out. Well I thought it was silly when God told me to go home too. I was thinking “God who the heck do you think you are to take me home a month early.”. He told me through many things that it’s time to come home. I am going home to my grandpa who you all know is very sick with brain cancer. It’s time for him to go and he’s hanging around waiting for something or someone to come home.
Well frankly I prayed a lot about this and with a lot of help from friends and family and mentors and prayer warriors which have helped me decide it wasn’t my own wants its a true discernment of the Lords voice.
I don’t know what to say to you other than thank you to each and every one of you. Whether I know everything about you or we’ve had some little conversations about life here and there. Maybe we’ve even done life together for a little bit. Each and everyone of you have helped me have the best time of my life traveling the world. I am so thankful for all the memories I have. All those times people talked like Miranda Sings, or all those times we fought over fans, we borrowed clothes, all the cries we had, all those times you held my hand. When I asked you for a hug and you didn’t want to but you did it anyways. All those times you really didn’t want to walk with me to go get something or go to the store but you did it anyways because “buddy system”. Those times when you just let me be me. When you prayed over me, when you laughed at how I pray, when I was sick all the time and how you all took care of me and loved on me. To all those people who picked lice out of my hair over and over again, you the real MVP. To all those silly running through the airport moments. Listening to me go on and on about silly things. Holding my hand when I got those tattoos over seas… To taking my picture with one of my new best friends in another country. Maybe it even means chasing chickens with me in Swaziland. Any memory you have is an important one to me.
My ending is going to look a little bit different then yours. You’ll go to debrief get to hangout and see everyone again for the last time all together. (sucks to talk about I know my b ). But my ending is going to be all that I need it to be. God is giving me peace about not being at debrief with the squad. Honestly my ending is going to look a little bit like this, spending time with my team every day reminding them how much I love them and them being like “Taylor shut up we get it you love us”. That type of thing. Then two of them will bring me to the airport and I will cry a lot because the family I live with now is another family I have gained on this trip. I love my team family and it’s going to hurt A LOT. I’m going to have closure because I know God is going to take care of each one of you and get you home safely. Then I’m going to get on that plane and be with the man who needs me most right now. That’s my grandpa.
To my family that I will never forget.
Thank you for everything that you have done for me on this trip. I won’t forget it. Ever. I love every single one of you. Enjoy this last leg of your race. And know that I know God is going to be with me whenever I go home, and he is going to make it beautiful wherever I go as long as I’m with him.
To my family and friends back home, thanks for you support throughout the race. Thanks for your support on my decision and helping me with prayer to come to that choice. Thanks for everything and for all the “I’ll be waiting for you at the airport”, for all those “I trust your discernment and I trust this is right for you”, even for those “I don’t know Tay, pray about it.”. And thank you to the people that have stuck by me and told me all the right things when I needed them to feel just a little better about everything going on. Honestly if you are reading this pray that God doesn’t take my grandpa before I get home. Just so I can tell him how much I love him one more time in person.
Thanks for all the love and support.
Much love and last world race blog.
Nicaragua we will meet again some day.
-T
