I have never read the Bible all the way through, I was never the best at memorizing verses in middle school, I did not fully pay attention in theology class during high school, I am still hearing certain things from the Bible from the first time..
Now here I am in the south of India being told I am going to PREACH.
TWIST IN THE PLOT
Here’s what comes to mind for me when I hear that word (bear with my train of thought here)
– Pastor
– educated
– In a robe, carrying a bible at their side, and can drop verses like their favorite song lyric
– understands theology
– Knows the bible like the back of their hand
– Went to school to learn how to do that
– Wise in Religion stuff
– KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING
I am with team “Cahootin’ Caboodle” this month and they have preached last month in Nepal, so this is nothing new for them. They have some material. They come from all different backgrounds so it is sweet seeing people talk about this book in general in a loving manner and not fighting about who is right or wrong, but WHO Jesus is in general.
I have never been asked to preach, I have never had the desire to honestly, I was scared crapless about it, WHAT THE HECK DO I TALK ABOUT TO A GROUP OF VILLAGERS IN INDIA?! I still have to go to the index to find Where some books of the bible are at!
The way our ministry works this month is we go out every night around 4PM and do not return home till 11PM. During this time we travel out to a different village every night, sometimes 30 minutes away, sometimes 2 hours away along the “unpaved-rice filled-water buffalo-infested roads” to get to our location. We get to the village where church is set up in the back of someones home, or even in the middle of an intersection, and we worship/preach/pray for people/ eat with a legit local family. Finally, we go home.
I asked some of the team on Cahootin’ Caboodle,
“How the heck do I know what to talk about?!”
Here are some of their answers:
“Pray about it”
“Talk about what God has been telling you lately”
“Use a story you have been taught something by in your life or the bible”
“Pray for a general message of forgiveness, healing, God’s power…etc”
All legit, but still I was not satisfied and was still uneasy as to what I was going to tell whatever group of villagers that don’t know me or have maybe never heard the name Jesus before. I was putting too much pressure on ME instead of what God has been showing me and what He has taken me out of in my life. HIS GOODNESS towards me.
This is a verse that jumped out to me while I was in this state of self consumption,
Matthew 10:19
“But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what you shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what you shall speak.”
So i basically said, “Ok Lord I am just going to take this literally. I am going to wait for that long car ride out to whatever village you are going to take us to tonight to see what you are going to tell me to preach about. I’m going to wait for the hour before.”
Now I do not know if this is the natural procrastinator in me, or God telling me to trust Him, but I went for it. So even during the bus ride out to the site where we were going to preach, I was still not 100% sure what I was going to be preaching on.
At first I was second guessing myself thinking…Why am I always talking about love? Maybe I should challenge myself with something new…Why is it always Love? Then it hit me that He literally tells me THE SAME THING EVERY DAY. I am still getting more and more confident in the fact that he wants to engrain that truth into my everything. There is a reason for that. And if words of love are the only thing I hear from God every day for the rest of my life… that is worth it!
So i decided to wing it and talk about how he has changed my life through those 3 simple words. Over and over and over again….
“Taylor, I LOVE YOU”
It was so incredible because when we got to the village we were preaching at it was ALL WOMEN, some children, and maybe 3 men. I thought,”Well that’s ironic and I’m sure someone has already told these women about Jesus and love and stuff.”
Our translator Ruth came up and whispered in my ear “They have heard the word before, but they do not know that God knows them each 1 by 1. That He is not just something in a book. Whatever you have planned to say..God wants them to hear what He has done in YOU sister.” I was wide eyed looking at her, a little freaked out that she basically read what was going on in my head and the Lord spoke through her.
I told part of my testimony, I went from the heart, what I know, and What I have experienced from the Lord. Even leading up to this present day of what it means to put down my earthly identity, success, idea of what my life is going to turn out to be…and TRUST Him. To not live by the reputation/identity of “Taylor Hill,” but to live in the identity of being Loved by HIM.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,? And He will make your paths straight.
Romans 8:37-39
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
After my message, women kept coming up to me and my translator just crying and saying “Sister Taylor! Your story is my story! I too have felt Hurt, Alone, I have felt exhausted and not sure why I am here! I have sought love from the wrong people too! But This love of God I have never felt before. I want it. I want the love you have“
I was stunned….No word…just tears, knowing that God had that so divinely planned and that each of those kids and women I was praying over wanted the Love that changed my life. They want MY FATHER in heaven…That will be something I NEVER FORGET.
I will never forget how my expectations were (again) blown out of the water because I just followed the truth of what God has done in my life. He has shown me I am enough, He has shown me that he loves me OUTRAGEOUSLY, He has shown me that living life for Him is not living life checking off “what a good Christian you are,” or performing to assumptions of “What a Christian is/ what a Christian does.”
It is not What I am, But WHO I AM LIVING FOR
