Tomorrow is my one week anniversary of moving to Gainesville, GA to work at Adventures in Missions. Crazy how one week has already flown by. This week has been really tough. I miss my friends like CA-RA-A-ZEE, and my family that much more! It just hit as my fingers are gliding across the key board how much I actually miss Mobile and all of it's inhabitants, all week I have been suppressing my emotions apparently because as I type this tears are streaming down my face! Oh how I long to be home with my family sitting around the dinner table with non-stop chatter about everyones' days. But, as hard as it is to be here sitting on my couch alone I know this is God's plan. Why do His plans have to be so heart wrenching sometimes?! I know His plans are good and I know He loves me and I know He sees the pain I am in. I also know that growth is painful most of the time and that in order for Him to show me something wonderful it means stepping out in faith and trusting that no matter how far away He seems, He is right there beside me, holding me and guiding me.
Ok so enough with the boo-who-ing, here's the other side of living away from home.
Life out on my own is weird. I come home from work to a usually empty apartment, that I live in and pay rent for. When did I become so grown-up!? It feels like I graduated high school yesterday but, here I am 23 and paying rent. I buy my own groceries too, no more grocery fairy.(mom, thanks for that) Though all this might would make someone feel old it makes me feel like a child. I don't feel old enough to be doing this, like I'm playing house or something. Don't get me wrong it's fun and my roommates are great! It's just weird. That is probably the best word to describe all of this. WEIRD
Please keep me in your prayers. I need them now more than ever. This whole situation has two outcomes. One, I stay sad and unable to get a handle on my emotions and completely fall apart unable to be 100% me. Two, I suck it up and move on and things go great, I'm able to be 100% me and make lots of friends and really flourish here in Gainesville. Obviously I'm hoping for the second one but that is going to require a lot from me and that's the thing, it all falls upon my shoulders. No one can force me which kinda freaks me out because in a way I am totes ok with being a hermit with no friends, it's easy, I'm good at that.
Thank you all for reading the vomit that is how I feel about all this new stuff. Hope it made sense at least a little bit.
In the words of my bestie who I miss so much, "Peace and hair grease."
